We Are One
by NellyBear85
Summary: She is doing what he wanted, living her life. Bella is with Jacob & attending college. She is attacked by a vampire and has to restart her life as a vampire. When the Cullens return, they find Bella, but there is someone else with her.
1. Return

Chapter 1 – Return

It has been 120 years since it happened, but I have dealt with it. It wasn't easy, but I have coped to the life of a vampire. In my time as I vampire, I have studied in several universities. I am claiming I am 22 years old and I got a job as a teacher in the high school. They were concerned with my being so young, but I used my extra abilities to get the job. It was interesting seeing the teenage boys react when they saw I was going to be their math teacher. I was praised as a great teacher when the majority of the children were doing well in my classes. I enjoyed my life here.

I lived in Forks for two years now. I had to get more mature looking clothes to match my age. I was frozen at 19 years old. I even took to wearing glasses to make myself look more mature. When I taught, I always wore my hair up and had a pencil stuck in my hair. Even when I looked this way, the boys in the school would still gawk at me. Now I see why Rosalie enjoyed this so much. I was comfortable thinking about them, at least most of them. I could only say his name mentally, never verbally. But no one in the town remembers them, so it's not like I had to talk about them much.

"Ms. Platt?" I turned and saw the principal, Mr. Walt coming towards me. His heart always accelerated when he approached me. "Yes sir?" I asked. I didn't use my real last name. There was an Isabella Swan who graduated from this very school over 100 years ago, but she was long gone. "You should know; you are getting a few new students in your class today." I smiled widely, "That's great. I can't wait to meet them." He blushed, "Alright then." He turned and stumbled away. It has been more than a century and you'd think I was used to how human men responded to me. I was walking across campus and I saw my favorite student. She was speaking with some of her friends, so I just waved. She smiled and waved back.

My fourth hour class was filing into the classroom, mostly boys. I waited for them to get to their seats. I heard the few of my female students giggle as my new students entered the class. I headed for my class and read my lesson plan for today's class. "Good morning, class," I greeted. "Good Morning, Ms. Platt," my students responded. I hadn't looked up from my plan, "I understand we have some new students today." I wasn't one of those teachers who made her students introduce themselves, I hated that myself. I sat at my desk and looked at my roster. I saw there names and I froze. I couldn't look up.

The names of my new students I knew all too well. Jasper Hale. Emmett and, I blinked to read it again, Edward Cullen. I looked up, over the frames of my prop glasses and saw the golden-eyed men in the back of my class. I knew too well, they were beyond boys. They stared back at me, sharing my shock. I knew this day would come. This is where I met them. This was one of their favorite places to live in the world. I knew this day would come. A day I partially dreaded, and yet, I anticipated it. This moment seemed to go on forever, but only a second passed. I continued with my greetings. I stood woodenly from my desk and leaned against it, crossing my ankles, "Jasper Hale, Emmett & Edward Cullen." My breath staggered, "Welcome to my class. I am Ms. Platt." Emmett smiled and Jasper nodded. I didn't look to the angel-faced man to see his reactions. I smiled to the rest of my class, "Alright, pass up your assignments and let's get started." I turned back to my desk, still feeling the demanding stares on my back. I took my hair out of it bun, letting it fall down my back. I heard several sighs from the students and that calmed me a bit, conceited as it was. I smiled and began.

Writing several equations, I began my lesson. I had to control myself, mainly my strength. The chalk was crumbling in my hands. I wanted to run from the room, run for miles, away from their stares, and possibly, eventually, their questions. I continued my lesson of the Pythagorean Theorem. "Alright, now figure out these equations. Raise your hand when you've solved them." I collected the assignments and went to my desk. Before I could sit, three hands in the back raised. I looked up. I walked back to check their work. I walked toward Emmett and Jasper. "Bella?" Jasper whispered. I just looked at him, "Correct." Emmett's eyes widened, "What happen?" I looked back, "Correct." Finally, I went to his deck. He reached out for me, but dropped his hand, "Correct." My voice was hard and I turned to the front of the class.

I sat back at my desk and checked the assignments. I was done with them before the whole class was done with the equation. "Ok, now," I stood up, "Let's figure out this equation. Who got it?" Most of the hands raised in the class. I smiled, "Yes, you all got it, but you want to know something," I leaned forward from behind my desk, "this was a college level question and all of you solved it." My class praised themselves. I stood and began the lesson. I kept my eyes away from the back of the class. Whenever I asked a question, Emmett or Jasper would answer, showing off their knowledge. My class seemed to crawl by, with my trying to keep myself composed. "Alright, that's it for today," I saw my watch, there was 20 minutes left in the hour. I smiled, "Wow. Ok. Now, I will let you decide. We have 20 minutes left. Do you want to start tomorrow's lesson, have a pop quiz or free period?" Everyone voted free period. I sat at my desk, pretending to deliberate. I took off my glasses and sighed. I looked up and smiled, "Free period, but keep it down."

The class broke out into individual conversations. I turned my chair to face the window and went over other lesson plans. I heard everything that was being discussed in the class. Try as I may, I heard theirs. "What happened to her?" I heard Jasper ask. "Clearly, she was attacked, but how come Alice didn't see?" He didn't respond. I felt his eyes on me. I ignored the rest of their conversation and focused on my reading. This was to be expected. Like it or not, I shared their world. The irony is when I was younger, I wanted more than anything. When I realize what was happening to me on the awful day, I wanted to die. Anything to escape what was happening to me. In my mind, I wished he were there, to save me. To protect me or at least, to let it be him. I was lost in thought, staring out the window, when the bell rang.

I looked up and saw the children getting up. Mercifully, the time went by as it did. I stood and sat on my desk, seeing off my students. "Bye, Ms. Platt." I smiled, "Bye, Erica." I put back on my glasses and looked at my next lesson. "Excuse me, Ms. Platt." I looked up, "Yes, Dwayne." He blushed, "I was wondering," he stammered, "well, when…." I giggled, "Don't worry Dwayne. You are doing very well and I will write the letter of recommendation." He sighed, "Thank you," he whirled and walked into the doorframe. I laughed, "Bye." My class was empty, except for the three in the back. I looked and they were motionless. This is what I was dreading; the interrogation. I stood up and folded my arms, waiting for the onslaught.

They stood up and came to the front of the class. "You're going to be late for your next class," I stated, in my teacher's role. Emmett led the other two, "Bella? What happened to you?" I turned my head and scoffed, "The same thing that happened to you, only more violent." Jasper stood forward, "Bella, please. What happened?" I looked back and sighed, "Not now. Later. I have another class." Edward stepped closest to me, "Bella, when?" I blinked. "When did this happen to you?" I opened my mouth to answer, when someone entered the class.

"Momma, are you ready?" All our heads turned and there she was; my favorite student, my daughter.


	2. Reunion

Chapter 2 – Reunion

My eyebrows rose, "Yes, give me a minute. I'll meet you outside." She nodded and left. Jasper gasped, "Why did she call you 'Momma'?" I grimaced, "Because she's my daughter." I stood and gathered my things, "I said later. I have to hunt." I left the room and met up with my daughter and we sprinted into the forest.

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The tedium of high school was unbearable. Unbearable even more so since I lost her. Emmett, Rosalie, Jasper, Alice and I pulled into the parking lot of that damning school. I couldn't return here. Here is where I first encountered that enchanting scent. We went through our morning classes. Emmett, Jasper and I had the same math class. "I can't wait to see her, she's so hot," one student commented as we entered the class. The three of us took our seats in the back of the classroom. "Here she comes," another student said. I noticed the boys in the class were keyed up. I saw all of them had a crush on their teacher. How typical. I looked down at my desk. This was the classroom where she and I English lit together. "Good morning, class," I heard the bell voice of the teacher speak. I looked up, the voice sounded too familiar. "Good morning, Ms. Platt," the students responded in unison. That was unusual; this was high school, not kindergarten. "I understand we have some new students today." The woman sat at the desk, with the roster blocking her face from my view.

She was too still behind her desk for a moment. I noticed the pale skin; a vampire teacher? I heard her exhale and lowered the roster from her face. My eyes widened, no. This wasn't possible. How could this have happened? She staggered as she stood and leaned against her desk, "Jasper Hale, Emmett & Edward Cullen." She stared at us, with fear in her eyes. This was the face I mourned for. For more than I century, I dreamt of this face, as much as a vampire can dream. That face which clouded my mind, it was here. But it was pale and hard, but I didn't care. It was here, she was here. "Welcome to my class. I am Ms. Platt." She turned away from the class and she let her hair done. It fell down her back to her waist. The scent of it hit me and I inhaled deeply. It was sweeter than I remembered. Floral, with the scent of vampire. _Damn, she is so hot_, I heard a student. I wanted to pounce and crush him. She was mine, or at least, she was. She asked for the classes' assignment and wrote equations on the board. "Alright, now figure out these equations. Raise your hand when you've solved them." Emmett, Jasper and I looked at each other. We finished the work in less than a minute and raised our hands before she could sit.

She came down to our desks. _If only the skirt were shorter_, another student asked. I didn't take my eyes off of her. She stopped at Jasper's desk, "Bella?" She looked at him, "Correct." It was obvious it was her. "What happen?" Emmett asked. "Correct," was all she said. She wasn't answering their questions. She was being a teacher and checking their work. Finally, she was at my desk. Her hair fell over her shoulder and I reached out to touch it, but I drew back. She exhaled and looked at me, "Correct." My head was swimming from the scent of her breath. She turned and went back to the front of the class. She moved so much more gracefully now. I missed her clumsiness, but she was beautiful this was too. I caught images of vulgar acts from some of the other students. I wanted to sprint to the front of the class, take her in my arms, and run.

She began her lesson. I saw the sprinkles of the chalk falling from her hands. Whenever there were questions, Emmett, Jasper and I answered. I noticed her rolling her eyes. I lingered on them. They were gold, as gold as mine were. How I missed the deep, chocolate brown eyes of hers, but they were long gone. I still had the pictures she took with my family. I kept them in perfect condition, with all the millions of times I looked them. She went through her lesson so fast that she let the class have free time. I watched her as she read and gaze out the window. I remember that look, she was in deep thought.

_I'm going to be eighteen next week, so I can definitely ask her out_, one brave student asked. I saw his inappropriate thoughts of that magnificent creature I loved. I saw myself smacking him out the window. Emmett and Jasper were talking about what could have happened to her. Mercifully, the bell rang and she was brought back. She sat on her desk and saw the children out. _We're not going anywhere, until we know what happened to her_, Jasper declared. _Alice is going to flip_. That would be a good thing. Alice loved Bella too, second to my love for her. Esme and Carlisle will be thrilled to see her. After the last student left, she sat at the edge of her desk; arms crossed and stared at us. We walked up to her.

Playing the authority in the room, "You're going to be late for your next class." Emmett asked first, "Bella? What happened to you?" She turned her head and scoffed, "The same thing that happened to you, only more violent." Jasper stood forward, "Bella, please. What happened?" She looked to him, "Not now. Later. I have another class." After so long, I was so close to her, "Bella, when?" This is not what I wanted for her, "When did this happen to you?" She was about to answer, when someone with a speeding heart entered the room, "Momma, are you ready?" All our heads turned and there was another student. She could have been Bella's twin. The same heart shaped face, the same full lips, curly hair and, my favorite, the same deep chocolate brown eyes. There were some differences, her hair was jet-black, she had the same sharp teeth as Bella had now and she stood too still like the rest of us. Another major difference is what she called Bella, Momma?

Bella's voice was so sweet, "Yes, give me a minute. I'll meet you outside." _More vampires, wonderful, but they had eyes like Momma_, the young lady thought as she departed. Jasper gasped, "Why did she call you 'Momma'?" "Because she's my daughter." Bella stood and gathered her things, "I said later. I have to hunt." With that, she left and I heard her accelerated speed. The three of us stood in the room, "Her daughter?" Emmett whispered. Jasper shook his head, "Let's go. Rose and Alice will need to know this." He looked to me, "Edward, you ok?" I shook my head, "What have I done?"

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"Momma, who were they? Did you know them?" Renesmee asked after I took down a deer. She was so insightful, like Charlie. "Honey, I will explain everything later. Just right now, I have to think." She stood and hugged me, "Don't worry. We'll be fine. No matter what we have to do, we have each other." I kissed her hair, "Thank you, sweetie. But, we will decide what we have to do." She smiled, "Ok. Let's get back." We ran back to the school and crept into the parking lot. We walked past my car and saw them standing by their cars. Alice looked over and smiled widely. I shook my head, "Get to class. I will see you after school." She looked back and hugged me, "Bye Momma." She flitted to the buildings and I walked over to them. "Bella? Oh, Bella," Alice hugged me. I laughed once, "Alice, I'm a teacher. Calm down." She stepped back, "I'm sorry. I'm just so happy to see you." I smiled wryly, "I'm happy to see you too." Rosalie was silent.

Emmett asked, "Bell, why did you change your name?" "Because I was Bella Swan in the last place I lived. I alternate me name every place I go." Rosalie looked back, "Who was that?" I looked to her, "My daughter, Renesmee. Well, the public story is she is my niece I inherited after my sister passed away. You can't ignore how much she and I look alike." Emmett grabbed my wrist, "Please, Bella. You have to give us something." I sighed "You want something. Fine, come by my house at 6 with Carlisle and Esme. Ness and I will tell you everything." Emmett didn't release my wrist, "Bella, please. At least tell us how you have a daughter? Was she a relative of yours?" I shook my head, "She really is my daughter, biologically," I looked to their faces, "I was raped."


	3. The Truth

Chapter 3 – The Truth

After school, Renesmee and I drove home. As always, she played her music loudly and we sang along. We pulled up to our house, Charlie's house. I had to pose as my own granddaughter to claim it. Renesmee bounded up the stairs and went into her room, my old bedroom. "Honey," I called, "we have company coming at 6." She sat at the top of the stairs, "Momma, who are they? I had my last hour class with the short one with spiky hair, Alice. She said she knew you when you were human." I stood at the bottom of the stairs, "Honey." She widened her eyes at me, "Momma, I just wanted to know more about you." She bit her lip. Renesmee had every right know. I never told her much about my human life. All she knew is that I was hurt by someone I loved, my best friend became my boyfriend and I was attacked while I was at college.

I sighed, "Honey, I'm not mad. Don't worry, you'll find out soon enough." She sighed. How many times have I told her this? I tried to smile, "Just go do your homework. We're having company at 6." She nodded and went to her room. I heard her sit on her bed and began working. I went to the seldom used kitchen. I was unsure if I wanted Renesmee to know the whole truth about my past. Renesmee thought that she ruined my life, when in actuality she saved my life. My human memories were foggy, but I remembered them. When I first changed, I kept a journal and wrote everything I remembered from my human life. Remembering them from my enhanced mind, everything was muddy. Renesmee read my journals and read everything about my parents, my home in Arizona and my friend in high school. But the journal I wrote about the family I wanted to join, I kept to myself. All I told her is that I was hurt beyond repair. For more than a century, it has just been me and Renesmee. It was always just me and my daughter. Even though we encountered many people, hardly anyone else joined our world.

I went to the living room and began grading papers. That hardly took up my time. After 15 minutes, Renesmee danced down the stairs. She was done with her work and so was I. We still had an hour until our visitors arrived. Renesmee could tell I was anxious, so she turned on the radio and began dancing. She chuckled and joined her. When I was human, I wasn't much of a dancer, but now, I couldn't stay off the dance floor. For an hour, Renesmee and I dance around the living room. We danced until we heard the doorbell. They were here. It was time; time for everyone to know the truth.

Renesmee turned off the radio and went for the door. I stood by the window and heard Renesmee greet them. "Bella?" it was Esme's voice. I heard Renesmee laugh once, "No. But that happens a lot. Come in." I turned to face the family I once was apart of, but painfully cut out of. Carlisle and Esme were in front. I smiled, "Hi Carlisle. Hi Esme." Esme's face showed several emotions; happiness, relief, sadness and remorse. She came towards me with her arms open, "Oh my Bella." I hugged her, "Don't worry. I have been good." Renesmee came into the room and stood with us. Carlisle came over to us and hugged me, "Bella, what happened?" I stepped back and took Renesmee's hand. I sighed, "Everyone, this is my daughter, Renesmee." She smiled brightly, "Hi," she chimed, "Would any of you like to sit down?" Rosalie, Alice, Jasper and Emmett sat on the couch. Edward didn't move an inch. Carlisle stood with him and Esme stayed with me. Renesmee rolled her eyes and by the fireplace.

"Bella, sweetie, please tell us what happened? Emmett told me you're his, Jasper's and Edward's math teacher?" I smiled, "Yes, Esme. I am. I began teaching two years ago. I really love it." Renesmee spoke up, "Momma?" I looked to her and she was pointing to Esme, "Is she the other one I'm named after." I smiled and nodded. Renesmee's smile grew wider. Esme clasped her hand over her mouth, "She's named after me?" I smiled, "Not just you. Her full name is Renesmee Carlie Swan. Renee and Esme for her first name and Carlisle and Charlie for her middle name." Esme gasped and hugged me. "She named me after her parents and another couple who were like second parents to her," Renesmee looked to Carlisle and Esme, "and I'm guessing that's you."

Carlisle smiled, "Yes." Renesmee's smile fell, "So if you were like her parents, why did you leave?" I stiffened, "Sweetie…." Carlisle raised his hand, "Bella, you never told her." I released Esme and shook my head, "Let me tell you what happened to me and," I looked to her, "you'll know everything." Esme went to stand by Carlisle and Edward and I sat by the fireplace with Renesmee. "Where do you want me to start?" Carlisle looked to Edward, whose eyes never left my face, "Right after we left." I nodded, "Alright. Just relax," I looked to Renesmee, smiled, closed my eyes and pushed my shield away from me. I heard them gasp and I showed them everything.

I showed them everything as I were watching a film. I started with that damning day when he left. I showed them my crumpling to the ground and curling into a ball. They saw how I stayed in the forest for hours and was found by Sam Uley. They saw my catatonic state, my depressing months afterward, including my mom's visit, my tantrum and my screams at night. They saw my getting the motorcycles and taking them to Jacob's. I showed my lessons, but left out my hallucinations. I showed them my encounter with Laurent and seeing the wolves for the first time. I showed them my encounters with the pack in human form and finding out about Victoria. I showed when I was on the cliff. I stood there, wanting to hear my hallucination. "Hello Bella." I spun around and saw the cat-like face of my nightmares, Victoria. I couldn't speak. "Where's your Edward? I'm very surprised I haven't come across him or any of his coven. They were so protective of you last time." _Lie_, the velvet voice told me. I let them hear that. "They moved on, but some of them still visit." She sniffed the wind that blew in from behind me, "Ohh, well. That'll just give me a head start. He'll be so angry." My breath staggered, "No, he won't. He doesn't want me anymore."

She raised an eyebrow, "You bored him?" Another wound punched through me, "Yes," I whispered, "I did." She laughed once, "Well, you humans are boring. But, I think he'll come back to check on his pet." She leaned into a crouch and growled. I closed my eyes. I was an empty shell, filled with holes. One from Edward, another from Jacob and the last from her. I pray that she is quick. My eyes flashed open when I heard another growl. Victoria wheeled around and stepped backwards to me. I saw the large russet wolf coming towards her. Victoria looked back to me and lunging. I fell to the ground as the vampire and the wolf leaped over me and went over the cliff. "JACOB!!!!!" I screamed, scrambling to my feet. Something hot and hard came around my waist, "Wait, Bella." It was Embry. I fought against his hold, "No, Jacob!!!" "Embry, get her away from here," Sam ordered. Embry towed my away from the cliff. I didn't fight. My tears flowed out from my eyes. Not Jacob. Embry didn't speak as we made our way to my truck. I didn't talk as he drove to Emily's house. Emily was in her yard as we pulled up.

I jumped from cab and ran to her. She hugged me, "What happened?" I cried as Embry explained. Emily hugged me tighter and I felt one of her tears on my cheek. Embry sat in the doorframe and stared into the forest. I don't know how long Emily and I stood together. We both turned when we heard laughter. I saw Jared and Paul first, "I can't believe you did it by yourself. That was awesome," Jared complimented. I saw Sam and coming behind him was Jacob. My eyes widened and my breath caught in my throat. Jacob and Sam saw us and smiled. Emily and I smiled at each other and ran to them. I couldn't stop my self. I threw myself at Jacob and hugged him around his neck. I could smell the sea brine of the ocean in his hair. When I pulled back, I looked him in the eyes. He was smiling and lowered me to the ground. I refused to loosen my hold on his neck and kissed him.

After that day, Jacob and I were always together. I never heard my hallucinations again, though, I missed them. At Harry's funeral, I held his hand and stayed with him and Billy. Since Victoria was dead, Jacob had more free time. One afternoon, when I was off from work, Jacob was taking me home and we saw his father was at my house. "Hey dad," we called out. "Bella, cold you come in here?" my dad called from the living room. Jacob shadowed my footsteps. I stood in the doorway and he was right behind me, "What's the matter?" Charlie handed me a letter, it was from Washington State University. I took the letter, "I'd like to open it in private." I walked around Jacob and opened the letter in the kitchen doorway. I read it and went back to the living room. All their faces were anxious, waiting for my news. I bit my lip, "I'm going to Washington State," I announced. Jacob held me up in a tight hug and kissed me. He dropped me and I hugged my dad and Billy. They attended my high school graduation.

I left for Washington State three weeks before my birthday. During my first few days, I noticed a student looking at me. I recognized the pale skin, but I didn't dare look at his eyes. He was a vampire. I knew his name was Stefan Johnson, but that could be false. One evening I was heading for my truck, when something or someone grabbed me from behind by my neck. I was being pulled back into the forest. It was dark, except for the streetlamp. I was pinned to the ground. It was Stefan and his eyes were black as the night. "Your scent is amazing," he was on top of me. He smiled and my eyes widened. He leaned closer to me and inhaled deeply, "Very floral." He looked at my face and I felt his hand glide down my chest, "But you are also very beautiful. I wonder…….." he trailed off. It was so quick and ripped open my blouse. With that I struggled under him, "Uh-uh," he said.

I felt Renesmee leave my shield and she was breathing deeply. I didn't break from telling them what happened. While still keeping my shield up, I took Renesmee in my arms. She knew she was the product of that night and she always hated herself for it. During my story, I tried to block out my screams and his threats of killing me if I screamed again. I picked up where someone called out, my attacker fled and I was left on the ground, in tears. Of all people, Lauren Mallory found me, "Oh my God!" she cried and ran over to me, "Bella?!" I was hysterical when she tried to help me. She called an ambulance and went with me to the hospital. I showed my father, Jacob and Sam coming with him. Jacob ran into my room and hugged me, "What happened?" I couldn't talk, I just cried. I gave them my attacker's description, knowing they will never find him. I told Sam and Jacob that my attacker was a vampire. Jacob's eyes widened.

Sam ran off as a wolf to find him. The morning after my attack, my appetite increased dramatically and I slept so much more. I thought I was still in shock of the whole ordeal. I wrote Lauren a letter of gratitude for helping me. I explained to her that she scared off my attacker. If she ever needed anything, I would try to help her. More than a week passed after my attack and I was still unable to return to school. I was allowed to miss the rest of the semester if I wanted. One early morning, I woke up in a shock and ran for the bathroom, where I was uncontrollable sick. At first, I believed that I was still recovering from the attack. Jacob came over and spent the day with me. While watching television, I felt sick again and ran to the bathroom. "Bells, honey, are you alright?" "Yes," I croaked. "I'll be right there." I straightened up and wiped my hand down my stomach. My hand paused when it came across something hard under my skin. I looked down and saw my hand was over a hard bump. My eyes widened and I turned to face the body length mirror behind the door.

I saw the bump on the lower part of my stomach. I patted it and it was rock hard. This wasn't possible. Yes, I was attacked by a vampire, but could they get human woman pregnant? I panicked, "Jacob!"


	4. My History

Chapter 4 – My History

Jacob sprinted up the stairs, "What?!" He pushed the door open and found me on the floor, hyperventilating. "Honey, what's wrong?" He held the top of my shoulders and crouched in front of me, "Bella, what's the matter?" My head was trembling and I broke out into tears. Jacob lifted me from the floor and carried me to my room. He held me in his lap, "Honey, it's alright. It's over. You don't have to worry. I won't let anything happen to you again." "Jake," I said in a trembling voice, "Jake, I think I might be pregnant." He held me away from him, "What?!" I lifted my shirt, took his hand and placed it over the bump. He exhaled in a huff, "No," he whispered. We stared at each other, "We'll get it out of you."

I stood, "Jake, I can't go to some human doctor. Whatever this thing is, it's part vampire." Jake stood with me, "There must be someone…." I huffed, "Jake, there's only one doctor I could think of who would know what to do and I have no idea where to find him." "Bella, what about their house? The leader was a doctor; maybe he'll have some information in the house." I smiled, "That's a great idea." "But how are you going to get in?" I went to my bedside drawer and took out a key. I sighed, "When… he was leaving, he took away all my pictures of him and the CD he made for me. Being thorough. But he never knew Esme gave me a key, in case of emergencies." Jacob hugged me close and kissed my hair, "Don't worry. We'll figure this out." After this day, my condition worsened. Even Charlie noticed the changes. "Dad, I'm still in shock. Maybe I should go to a center for women who were attacked. I looked one up. It's in Oregon." My dad's face feel, "I can't believe this happened to you. Bell, I'm so…." I put my hand up, "Stop Dad. It happened and I need to get some help to get better." He nodded, "Whatever you need."

I went through the motions of making arrangements. I was actually going to the house in the sea of ferns. It was the only place I could think of that would have any information about what was going on with me. I hoped Carlisle would have some information; I couldn't have been the first person this happened to. Jacob went with me; my dad believed I was going to the airport. "I love you, Bells. Call me when you arrive." "I love you too dad." Jacob drove me to the hidden house. It was still difficult for me to be here. He held my hand as we walked up the porch and entered the house.

In the house, the furniture was arranged in their proper places before that horrific incident on my birthday. The house was stuffy and dust was everywhere. Jacob's hand was trembling. "Jake, calm down. They're gone." I went upstairs to the office, it was exactly the same. To my surprise, the lights still worked. I went behind the desk and began fingering through the books. It read for hours, finding nothing in the medical books. Soon, it was getting dark. "Bella, we should get going." I looked up, "Where am I going to go? My dad thinks I'm in Oregon." He grimaced, "We'll go to my house." I shook my head, "No. I appreciate it, but….," I sighed, "I'm staying here. I need to know what's going on with me. I need to know what's going on and what this thing is going to do to me." He knelt down beside me, "Bella, honey, I'm not leaving you here." I cupped his cheek, "Jake, I need to know what's going on with me and if there is anything I can do." Jacob stood and began reading with me. After another two hours, I began to feel sleepy.

I felt Jacob lift me from the desk and I cuddled into his chest and we slept on the couch. I woke up and was incredibly hungry. I left Jacob and went to the large kitchen that was never used by the previous owners, until they met me. I saw there was nothing in the fridge, but there were still some things in the cabinets. Jacob came downstairs, "Bells?" "In the kitchen," I called. He came in and found me, "Are you hungry?" I nodded, "Yes, but there's nothing." He sniffed, "Well, bloodsuckers lived here, why would they need it." Jacob went to the grocery store and got some things. I did more research and still, found nothing. I researched for days, with Jacob's help. I was still getting sick and I was feeling worse and my bump was getting bigger.

I stayed at the house with Jacob for more than a week. "Bells, I need to get you to a hospital." I was in Alice's bed, "No, Jake," I rasped, "No one can help me." I was getting too weak to get out of bed. Jacob sat on the bed, leaned closer to me and laid his forehead to mine, "Why wasn't I there?" I sat up, "No, Bell. You shouldn't get up." I had to gather my strength to keep researching. I saw how much I was hurting Jacob. I had to end this. "Jake, I have to leave. I found somewhere that have legends about women like me. Pregnant by vampires. They could help." He smiled slightly, "Great, let's go." I shook my head, "No, Jake. I'm going alone. I can't keep doing this to you. Once I know what's going on with me, I will let you know. You have to stay here and look after Charlie for me." He protested, "Jake, please. If you care about me, you'll do this." I coughed harshly, making it seem worse, so he wouldn't argue. "Fine, but you have to let me know." I nodded, "I will. I'm trying to leave tonight."

"I'll take you to the airport." I shook my head, "No. They left Rosalie's BMW, I'll take that." Jacob took my hands, "Please, take care of yourself." I kissed him, "I will." With that, Jacob left and I watched him drive away, leaving me alone in the house in the sea of ferns. I went back to my research, more about the Amazonian legends. I couldn't do much reading, because I was either too weak, too sick or too tired. I couldn't keep anything down. I began to think that maybe the thing inside me had an appetite more towards their side. On my second day here, I found bags of human blood in Carlisle's office. It was hidden away, possibly from the rest of the family. I noticed they were all O+ blood, which was my blood type.

When I opened the bag, I prepared myself. Blood usually made me sick, but when I smelled it, it smelled wonderful. I drank straight from the bag. I consumed all the contents quickly, and drank another bag. This was awful. I was pregnant, alone and drinking blood to sustain myself. I was feeling a lot better and I was able to do more research. I stayed in Alice's room, refusing to go upstairs. His room was upstairs and I had too many memories from that room. I researched how to measure how far along I was in my pregnancy. I measured my stomach and saw I was 38 inches. The thing would be born by tomorrow. Since I began drinking the blood, its kicks were much harder and it broke some of my ribs. I painfully bandaged myself up, so I won't jostle the ribs. I was afraid of what would happen to me. I was afraid I was going to die.

I knew one day the family would return, so I wrote a letter to Carlisle. I wanted him to know what happened to me and wrote that it was up to him if he wanted the rest of them to know. The next morning, I woke up and measured myself. I was 39.5 inches. I sighed and drank a packet of blood. I wasn't going to survive this day. I carefully went back to Carlisle's office and did more research. I wanted to know how these half human half vampire babies were born. I read that they ripped themselves out of their mothers with their teeth. The mothers never survived. A cold chill ran through my body. I wasn't doing to see tomorrow. I went through Carlisle's drawers, looking for more paper. I wanted to write a letter to my father. In the bottom draw I found a steel vile. I took it and it read, "Carlisle's Venom." With the vile, I found a needle made of steel.

This was it. This thing would rip its way out of me and I could inject myself with venom and survive. As a newborn vampire, I could destroy this thing in me. The thing that had me hiding away from the world and my family. This thing that will make me become something that I once wanted to be, but didn't want anymore. I prepared the needle and stayed in the office. I was drinking a cup of blood and reading Shakespeare when a strange ripping sound came from my stomach. There was searing pain and I was screaming. My screams were cut off as I vomited up blood. I don't know how long it last, but the pain was too much. I felt the skin around my bump rip open and same a small chubby arm. I controlled myself and gripped the small arm. The creature's other arm came out and pulled itself out of me.

When I saw it, I wanted to throw it into the glass wall. I saw it was a blood smeared baby, with long jet-black curly hair. I saw it was a girl. She had my face and brown eyes. She looked at me, she smiled, showing pearl white teeth. I couldn't help but lower the small child to my chest. She nestled into my chest. She was so warm. I felt my heart flattering and I was getting weaker. I knew I was losing too much blood. I took the needle and pushed the plunger, releasing the venom into the heart. I wanted to scream, but I saw the baby look away from me. At birth, it was crawling and drank the cup of blood I left.

Still showing my story, I skipped over my burning and transformation. Renesmee nudged me, she wanted to see. When she saw herself as a baby, she placed her hand on my cheek and took over. She showed them her perspective of the days. She showed them her first sight of me, blood stained and smiling. She remembered drinking the blood and sleeping next to me as I changed. On the third day, she remembered waking up and looking up to her mother's new face. I went back to my perspective. I woke up, taking in all the details of the office. I heard the fluttering heartbeat. I looked to my side and saw the small body next to me. I picked her up and she woke up. She smiled at me, showing me her teeth again.

My throat was on fire. I saw it was night and I was thirsty. I held the small one in my arms. I went to Alice's room and found a blouse that fitted the baby like a dress. I ran with her into the night and I found a bear. I placed the child on the ground, "Stay here, I'll be right back." I crouched and pounced the bear, breaking its neck. I dragged it back to where I left my baby. With my new nails, I slit the neck and the blood flowed out. I took the child and showed her how to drink. She followed my example and held onto the bear and drank. I drank at its chest, feeling the warm blood flow into my throat. After I was done, I found the baby sitting up on the ground waiting for me. She reached out with her small hands for me and I picked her up.

To my surprise, I loved the child. I couldn't hurt her. I ran back to the house and in the light, I took in more of her features. She looked exactly like me, except, her hair color. Her hair color was his. Besides that, she was mine. She was my baby and I had to protect her. Protect her and teach her. I was now a vampire and a mother.


	5. Waking Up

Chapter 5 – Waking Up

I pulled back my shield and looked at them. Renesmee held my hand and waited with me. Esme and Alice were gasping, Emmett was scowling, Jasper, Carlisle and Rosalie stared at us and Edward was a statue, but his face was livid. No one spoke for a long time. I looked to the floor and hugged Renesmee closer. When I looked up hearing short sobs. I looked up and Esme was coming towards me. "Oh my dear sweet Bella, we never should have left you," she said between sobs, "I am so sorry." I sighed, "Don't be. That was a long time ago, at least I have Renesmee." "Bella," I looked up. It was Edward, his teeth were clutched together, "Where is Stefan?" I shrugged, "Don't know, don't care. As far as I'm concerned, he doesn't exist. But, if I ever see him again," I blinked slowly, "That's another story." His arms were folded and he glared at the floor, "This is unbelievable. This is why we left," he muttered. "What are you talking about?" Renesmee stood and looked at him, "Why _did_ you leave? Why weren't any of you there?"

I patted his shoulder, "Honey, plea..." She shrugged my hand off, "No Momma. I want to know. You promised. I want to know who was it that left you unprotected and broken. I want to know how this family knew you. I want to know the name of the one who hurt you. The one who said he loved you, but left. I want to know the name of the man who was supposed to there for you." I patted her shoulder, "Honey, please. Let them ask their questions first." Renesmee looked to the Cullen, shook her head and darted out of the room.

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I listened to her story in pure disbelief. I left her so that she could live a full life, but that didn't happen., She's here in front of me, a vampire. This was unbelievable. The love of my life, of my existence had suffered so much since I left her. _Maybe they know who that monster was who broke my mother's heart_. Renesmee was right, I was, am a monster. I could see in her mind she had a lot of love for Bella, but she still regretted living. She knew she was half of the man who attacked her. Renesmee's mind was amazing. She had clear memories of being in Bella's womb, the thought she had will she still grew inside Bella's body. Even then, she had so much live fore her mother, even when Bella didn't have love for her. Renesmee was on her bed in Bella's old bedroom. She was looking at herself in the mirror, _At least I look like her and not him, but my hair_, Renesmee grasped at her own hair, _Why did it have to be this color?_ Renesmee contemplated changing her hair color, like she did thousands of times before, just so she could look more like Bella.

Emmett stood up, "So, you've been alive all this time, why didn't you look for us?" His question brought me out of my own thoughts, but I was so happy someone asked that, why didn't she? She was a vampire, so she had plenty of time to track us down. Bella's eyes feel on me for the shortest moment, then back to Emmett, "It doesn't matter. You're here now and you see what I've become." She shook her head, smiled and ran her fingers through her hair. It's been more than I century, but I could still read her.

She wanted to change the subject. Even after all this time, I wanted to stroke her cheek and comfort her, but I knew why I couldn't. I would change the subject, in my minuscule way of trying to comfort her, "After you had the baby, what did you do?" She sighed, "I went to the Amazon. I had to look for more legends regarding beings like Renesmee. Though I decided to keep her, I had to know what kind of future she would have." Carlisle looked at her, "Bella, how were you able to show us your story." She smiled, "That's my ability. I have a mental shield that keeps others out of my mind. I am able to push it away from myself to protect others and as you just saw, push my shield into the minds of others and show them my own memories." This was amazing. It's been more than a century, but I was finally getting what I wanted. A glimpse into Bella's mind. She was talented like myself, Jasper and Alice.

"How are you able to do that?" Rosalie asked. She shrugged, "How are any talented vampires able to do what they can? It's who we are." Alice smiled, "Ok, ok. I want to know what you did next." Bella smiled to Alice, "Alright." Renesmee came down the stairs and went to sit on the mantle with Bella, "I want to see too," she smiled weakly up at her mother. They smiled at each other, showing a strong relationship. Bella looked back to us, "Alright, this is what happened." I closed my eyes and waited for her story. To see into my beloved's mind.

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I pushed shield away, showing them all what I had done with my life. I started back after my first hunt. Renesmee was sleeping in my arms. Her scent was wonderful. I could make out the human scent of her, since blood pumped in her veins, but her vampire scent was stronger, making the desire for her blood weak. Renesmee breathed air, her hair grew, her heart beat and she grew. I kept a journal of her progress. One night, I tucked her in Alice's bed and I went to clean the mess of Renesmee's birth out of Carlisle's office. Thankfully, Renesmee drank all the blood I left, so I wouldn't have to worry about losing control. As I cleaned, I found a piece of Renesmee's placenta. In this office, I thought of one person who would be fascinated by this shard; Carlisle.

I looked around and thought of his thirst for knowledge. If I was ever brave enough to face him, I would want to at least give him this gift of new information. I saved the shard in the steel vile that held Carlisle's venom. After cleaning everything in the office, I took my letter that I wrote to Carlisle, he wouldn't need it anymore. I was alive and I might see him again, I might. I heard Renesmee sigh deeply and I went back to bedroom. She rolled over and slept peacefully. I stroked her hair from her face and smiled. She looked exactly like me, her lips, her eyes, her face and curly hair. When I saw the color of it, I scowled. I didn't hate her, but I hated her father.

She will be upset when she realized how I conceived her, but I would teach her to love herself, no matter what. She was my baby, my daughter, my Renesmee. At this time, I didn't have a name for her. I didn't think about one for her when I was pregnant. I was too concerned about my own survival. I looked at her face and she smiled in her sleep. I thought about how I was able to survive and I thought about the one's who showed me great parental love. Renee, Esme, Carlisle and Charlie; my four parents. Two who had to leave and two I had to leave behind. I watched my baby sleep and realized she was completely unique, so she would require an equally unique name. Renee and Esme; Renesmee. Carlisle and Charlie; Carlie. I smiled, that was it; Renesmee Carlie Swan.

I lifted the small child to my chest and whispered her name, "Hello Renesmee Carlie Swan." She stirred and looked up at my face. She smiled at me and I smiled back. She placed her small hand on my cheek and I gasped. I saw my face, it was backwards, but it was mine. I saw myself covered in blood and sweat, and I still had my brown eyes. I jerked away and Renesmee's hand fell from my face. "How in the…." I stared at her and she looked back, with sad wide eyes. "You have a talent," I deduced. Renesmee laid her head on my chest and I listened to her breathing. I looked down at her and she was looking out the glass wall. I walked over wall and looked out. She lifted her head and leaned her hands against the wall. This shocked me; she was not the size of the child I gave birth to. She was bigger, approximately the size of three month old baby.

Renesmee reached back and placed her hand on my neck. She was showing me a deer she caught a glimpse of running in the forest. I caught a taste of the vision, she was thirsty. I smiled, "Do you want to deer?" She looked back to me, nodded and smiled. I clutched her closer into my chest and I ran with her into the forest. It was nearly dawn and the forest was so alive. I ran with Renesmee in my arms. I looked down and she was smiling brightly, as if she were enjoying the run. I came across the scent of deer. I placed her on the ground, "Stay here. I'll be right back." I kissed her forehead and she patted my cheek. She showed me her perspective of this kiss and I caught the tenor of love in her vision. I looked back at her, "I love you too."

As I hunted, I realize that that was the first time I said to anyone since he left. I was glad that I was able to saw that to someone and they felt that way about me. I took down a deer and took it back to Renesmee. She clapped her small hands and smiled. I was surprised that she was able to clap on her own, but I didn't dwell on it. As I prepared to cut the neck, Renesmee crawled over to me. I looked down to her and she patted my neck, she wanted to bite on her own. I held her up, she leaned into the animal and she bit into the animal's neck, drinking its blood. After a few minutes, Renesmee sighed and looked up to me. She patted my cheek; she was full.

I smiled at her, "Don't worry, I'll finish it." I drained the rest of the animal while its blood was still warm. As I ran back to the house, Renesmee watched the forest as it flew past us. As we entered the house, Renesmee patted my cheek; she wanted to be placed on the floor. I put her down and went to the couch. I watched as she crawled towards me. She looked to the platform and saw the white sheet hanging over the furniture. She went over to it and tugged at the sheet. I knew what was underneath it. I couldn't look at it. "No, honey. Don't. This isn't our house," I explained, while I picked her up. She looked back at me as if she understood my warning. She patted my neck, she wanted to know who the house belonged to. I smiled, "They were friends, but they had to leave. We'll be leaving soon too. We have to find our own home." She showed me her next question, where were we going?

I thought about that, "The Amazon. I think you will like it there. They have bigger and wilder animals for us to hunt. I'll show you." I took her back to Carlisle's office and showed her the animals we could hunt in the jungle. She smiled and patted my neck, she wanted to get a panther. I smiled, "So do I." Renesmee and I spent the rest of the day and the evening look up information on the Amazon. Soon she began to get sleepy and she dozed off in my arms. While she slept in my arms, things came to me. What about Charlie? How was I going to pay for our trip? How was I going to get a passport for Renesmee to travel? How was I going to care for my daughter?


	6. Legends

Chapter 6 – Legends

Renesmee and I stayed in the house for the rest of the month. I was able to figure out what I needed to do. I wrote Charlie and my mom a letter. I told them I found out I was pregnant. I knew they wouldn't be happy about that, or more to the fact that I was going to keep her. I took Renesmee's picture when she was still very young, or at least looked that way. In a year or so, I would send it to them, showing them their granddaughter. I told them that I needed more time to myself and that they should not look for me. I would write to them, but it would be a long time before they saw me again. this pained me that I had to hide from my parents, but I had to do this for them. My next dilemma, getting my travel plans arranged. In Alice's things I found the name of their forger, J. Jenks. I contact him and had him create Renesmee's passport. Another thing it pained me to do was I had to borrow some money from Alice's supply. I took several thousands. I was immortal now, so I would save the money to pay her back. I would mail her a check, but she wouldn't know who it came from.

After everything was prepared, I bought some clothing for Renesmee. Now, she was about the size of a one year old. When I took her to the stores, all the women awed at her beauty. I heard some remarks questioning why I was so young with my own child, but I ignored them. I was young, but I was a proud mother. One day while Charlie was at work, I ran to my house. My room had been vacant since I left. I saw my clothes from the laundry were folded on the bed and left there. I placed Renesmee on my bed and gathered some of my belongings. I took my best jeans and plaid shirts and packed them in my bookbag. Hopefully Charlie wouldn't notice the missing items. I took my pictures of my parents and showed Renesmee, "These are your grandparents." She took the picture and smiled. She pointed at my mom's picture, "Gramma?" She spoke and I nodded. It was rare when Renesmee spoke. She lept from the bed and walked towards my closet. She tugged at a black box with frayed wires, "Momma, what's this?"

I looked down, "It was a gift, but I didn't need it anymore." With that, I showed Renesmee the rest of the house. "Grampa's going to be lonely." I sighed, "He might be, but he'll be fine. We'll write him, ok?" She smiled, "Ok." When everything was set, I ran halfway to the airport, then hailed a cab. As we flew to Brazil, I wrote in my journal that I kept about Renesmee's progress. I did this daily, she was changing so rapidly. I did this to keep better tack, not that I needed it. Maybe, subconsciously, I did it to provide Carlisle with evidence of her growth. In some ways, she was an interesting project. As we flew and the passengers slept, I continued my studies of the Portuguese language. I was almost fluent in the language and I also studied some Spanish. I knew I would need to know these languages to find out more about Renesmee's condition.

As we landed in Quito, Ecuador, I studied a map to get us into the jungle. We weren't far from the deep parts of the jungle. I saw that it was late afternoon and the sun was still out. Renesmee and I remained in the airport. As the sun began to set, I took Renesmee into the ladies' room and changed her clothes. After she was dressed and I was changed, we left into the Ecuadorian night and ran towards the trees. As part of our preparation, I purchased a baby carrier where I could run with Renesmee on my back and my hands would be free. As for my bookbag, I strapped it underneath Renesmee's carrier. She didn't care for the carrier much, but she didn't complain. When she was in her carrier, she took my hair and tied it into a ponytail for me. I laughed, "Thank you, honey." When we went outside, Renesmee and I breathed deeply. The both of us were born in Forks and this was the first time either one of us left the country.

I walked to the edge of the roads, into the trees. When I knew we were cleared, I ran into the jungle. It wasn't long until we were deep in jungle. Renesmee patted my neck, she wanted to run on her own. "Not right now. We need to find a camp site so we put our things down." I realized as long as we would be looking for information for her future, we would be living in the jungle. Renesmee sighed, but understood. I found a clearing further in the wild. As I walked through the clearing, I heard animals scurry away as I began to take Renesmee off my back. She stood in the clearing, staring into the trees. As she stared, I began to unpack the camping supplies I picked up in the airport. I pitched the tent and laid out the sleeping bag for Renesmee, "Sweetie, are you tired?" I called out. I heard her skipped over to the tent, "No Momma. I want to hunt."

I got out of the tent, "Alright, sweetie." I didn't want any animals to come into our campsite, so I ran around the site in a large circle, leaving my scent strong around the sight. I knew animals were more aware of our scent, and knew to stay away. When I was done, I held my arms out for Renesmee and she leapt into them. We sprinted into the trees and hunted. I remembered her request from last month; she wanted panther, so that's what I looked for. The smell of the rain was amazing to my senses. I stopped when I caught the scent of a large predator. I stalked through the trees until I saw the black hide of a panther. Renesmee patted my neck, she wanted to pounce it herself.

I smiled and nodded. I heard her growl coming from her chest. I stifled a giggle, it was so cute when she did that. She leaped into the air, landed on the panther's shoulders and bit into the neck. The panther was perched on a branch. It tried to get Renesmee off of its neck, but they tumbled to the ground. I jumped down, "Renesmee!!!" I turned over the animal. It was still alive, but weak. She wasn't there and I scanned the entire area looking for her. "Renesmee!" I called out in a horror-struck voice. "Momma," I looked up and she was still on the branch. I sighed a deep sigh of relief. She jumped down into my arms and I crushed her to my chest, "Oh, sweetie. I was so worried I'd lost you." I breathed in the scent of her hair and she hugged my neck. The panther tried to slink away from us. I turned and finished it off. I turned back and Renesmee leapt back into my arms. I still wasn't over my shock of watching that panther falling and I thought I lost my baby.

I carried Renesmee back to our campsite. She watched my face as I changed her clothes, "Momma, I'm sorry I scared you." I sighed, "No, honey. It's fine. It wasn't your fault. Don't worry about me, you just get some rest." Renesmee snuggled into my arms and fell asleep. While she slept, I measured how much longer her hair had gotten since yesterday and the physical changes in her body. I made a mental note to write them in my journal. As she slept, she brushed her head against my chest. I thought of the reversal in this scenario. It was this time a year and a half ago; I was the one sleeping in the arms of the vampire I loved. Only with this, I was the vampire that would always love the girl in my arms. She was bonded to me permanently and nothing on this earth would severe that tie.

For the next month, Renesmee and I lived in the jungle trying to find information about her kinds. It was becoming very discouraging as the days passed by. One day, Renesmee and I travelled into the closest city to buy new clothes. I overheard some people scrutinizing Renesmee and I. "Libishomen," I heard one of them ask questioningly. I picked up a book on the legends of the Libishomen. I read as Renesmee slept. The book provided a lot of information about the legends of the Libishomen. The legends came from the Mapuche people. They lived in the jungle as well. I would look for them and discuss further about their legends. That would be my goal, to find the Mapuche people.

The next morning, when Renesmee woke up, we went off into the rain to find the Mapuche people. As we ran, we came across a path; it was vampire. I didn't want Renesmee around other vampires. They may not be controlled enough from attacking her and I was not experienced in fighting. All I knew was that I was a newborn vampire and was much stronger than other vampires. I heard someone approaching us and I wanted to run. As I turned, I picked up a distinct sound. It was familiar, a fluttering heart. It was like Renesmee's heart, but it was louder, as if the heart was larger than hers. It was too late, I would have to fight. Renesmee whimpered under my hair, she was nervous. Then we saw them, a man and a woman. The woman was small and had olive-toned skin. Her black hair was in a long braid and her eyes were deep burgundy eyes. The man with her was younger, with rich, dark brown skin. His eyes were the color of warm teak. His hair was also black and braided, but shorter than he woman's.

They appraised me, "Hello," the woman spoke to me in Portuguese. She smiled at me. Renesmee's small hand was on the back of my neck, she was wanted to have a better look at the two people with us. I couldn't make any movements to bring their attention to her. I nodded to her, "Hello," I spoke to her in English. She nodded, "English." I smiled timidly. The woman stared at me, "I'm sorry, but what is that sound?" She cocked her head to the side, "Is that a heartbeat?" I stopped breathing, she heard Renesmee's heart. But I looked to the man with her, I heard his heartbeat. I noticed a faint flush to his cheek.

Renesmee, being very brave, shook off my hair and looked at the two strangers. I looked at her and back to them. I waited for them to gasp, to attack or to snarl. The woman just smiled and looked to her companion, "Well, Nahuel, it seems there are more of you than we thought." I gasped, "What?" She looked at me, "My name is Huilen and this is my nephew, Nahuel. We've lived in this jungle for a century and a half. My sister, Pire, Nahuel's mother conceived Nahuel by a vampire. Did that happened you?" I nodded, "Yes. My name is Bella and this is my daughter, Renesmee." I took her into my arms and she smiled at them, "Hello." They smiled at her, "Hello young one. Where are you from?" After that day, Nahuel and Huilen explained their history and told me about Nahuel's progress. Finding Nahuel and Huilen made me too happy. Seeing them, I knew my daughter had bright and beautiful future.


	7. Mother & Daughter

Chapter 7 – Mother & Daughter

Renesmee and I lived in the Amazon for 25 years. She loved it there, hunting the large prey. Anacondas were her favorite and panther was mine. Our first year wasn't easy. It was hard making the transition from living in a house to living in the open. After a month, Renesmee and I took to wearing animal skin clothes, hide vests and form-fitting pants. Our pants were held together by leather ties that went up the sides of our legs and thighs. For our home, I built a small hut for us. I wanted a dry place for her to sleep. Living in the jungle, Renesmee and I were like children. We had no worries or concerns. We ran and swung through the trees. There were times when we played hide and seek for days on end. She loved running away, pretending I was trying to hunt her down. We swam in the river together, but I always went first. I didn't want the piranhas coming after her.

Huilen was enchanted by Renesmee. Renesmee showed her our lives before we came to the Amazon. Huilen told Renesmee stories of hers and Nahuel's history. "Bella, she is such a sweetheart," she told me after she put Renesmee to bed. At night, with Renesmee and Nahuel slept, Huilen and I would talk all night. On one of our hunting trips, Renesmee and I came across three more vampires. They were three women, who were sisters. Their limbs were enlongated and they wore the same clothes as Huilen and Nahuel. Their names were Kachiri, Senna and Zafrina. They knew my diet by color of my eyes. Zafrina told me that she was friends with another group of vampires that had the same diet as I did. She asked if I was ever interested in meeting them. I had a feeling who she spoke of, so I playfully stated that there was no rush. We had an eternity to meet her friends. I explained how Renesmee was my biological daughter. Zafrina was the talented one in that coven. She saw my own potential and she helped me develop it. Like Huilen, the trio was enchanted by my baby.

For twenty years, my daughter and I lived in the jungle. At twenty years old, Renesmee stood at 5'3", an inch shorter than me. She looked exactly as me, but our eyes and hair were different. Her eyes were brown and mine were gold and her hair was jet-black and it hung down to the middle of her back. We had taken to wearing our hair in braids down our backs. We loved our jungle and Nahuel and Huilen. They helped us greatly in our adjustments to living in the jungle. With Huilen's help, I was able to teach Renesmee much about her development. Her growth spurt slowed as she got older, but at the age of seven, she looked as if she was seventeen years old. Since her seventh birthday, she hadn't aged physically. For her first birthday, which was a week after mine, I lured an anaconda for her to hunt on her own.

Nahuel and Huilen asked why we chose to not hunt humans. I explained that I knew a previous coven and they were the influence behind this decision. They tried to sway us, but Renesmee and I enjoyed the thrill of the hunt. Renesmee stated it was more fun for her to hunt animals. When it came to me, I didn't speak much about my own past; it was still too painful. I was hurt and broken, and I ended up hurting more people. As Renesmee grew up, I notice Nahuel taking an interest in her, but she did not reciprocate. She made it clear that she saw Nahuel as more of a brother, but he still tried. One night while they were hunting, Renesmee spoke to me about it, "Momma, I love Nahuel, but he can't seem to understand that I'm not in love with him. Why does he keep pushing it?" I smiled, "That reminds me of my friend, Mike Newton. When I first went to the school, he was the one brave enough to ask me to the school dance first, but I turned him down. And when I was with," I sighed, "him, Mike wasn't happy. Even after he left, Mike still tried. Hell, he even tried while he and I were together. When he was away for the weekend and grampa went away for a fishing trip, Mike came over with several movies. This was when my leg was broken. Mike said he didn't want me to be home alone."

Renesmee smiled, "What happened?" I got up and got the journal that I kept to remind myself of my human memories. I sat on her bed and read, "Ok, Mike and I watched the movies all afternoon. When he went to make some popcorn and the doorbell rang. He went to answer the door and there they were; him and my best friend. Mike's smile fell and he scowled at Mike. I bit my lip nervously; this wasn't going to be good. He hated Mike, because he could hear what he was thinking. Mike left defeated and I spent the rest of the evening with them." I edited out their names when I read the entry. She knew that I was in love once and that he left me. She saw it hurt for me to talk about it, so she never pushed for more information. After another few weeks, I began thinking it was time for Renesmee to see the rest of the world. She and I discussed it, Renesmee was reluctant to leave the jungle, but she was curious about seeing the world. "Momma, where do you want to move to?" I deliberated, "We'll discuss it in the morning."

After she went to sleep, I took out my letters from my parents. I still wrote to them and I arranged for a post office box for them to send my letters to. My letters took a long time to get me, because my fake address was in Northern Canada. In his last letter, my dad wrote that after Billy's death, he moved to Poughkeepsie, NY. He said he wanted a change of scenery. Forks had become too painful a place for him to stay. My mom actually moved to the same town, because Phil got a job coaching the baseball team at Vassar. So my parents lived close to each other and saw each other often. My dad and Phil had even taken to watching the baseball games together. Maybe it was time for them to meet Renesmee. In their letters, they never asked when I was coming back, they knew I was still coping and, according to my letters, Renesmee was busy with school.

I discussed it with her and she wanted to meet them too. So, we were moving to New York, but we remained closer to the mountainous areas. I made the arrangements for our move. While I made the arrangements for receiving my mail, I opened several accounts in local banks. The money that was left over that I took from Alice was divided into several accounts and it hadn't been touched in over twenty years. I made the arrangements, including getting our false records, and we're be ready to leave in a week. Huilen and Nahuel weren't happy to see us go, but they understood. They belonged in the jungle, be my daughter and I didn't. I arranged for a small town house in West Hurley, New York. The town was similar to Forks, deep in the mountains and under thick cloud cover.

When we moved into our new home, Renesmee was timid around humans. She was so used to living in the jungle around other vampires; it was hard for her to limit herself to look human. She understood that she had to keep our family's secret, including the secret of our world. For our public story, she was my niece. Physically, I was two years older than her, so she would call me Bella in public, which she found amusing. I got a job as a secretary in a local law firm and Renesmee attended school. While in the Amazon, I got several books for her to read, so she had some education. She kept to herself and did not enjoy school much, though she was one of the smartest children in her school. After moving back, we had to complete a very difficult task, we had to see my parents. On the drive there, I was very nervous. They would notice my difference immediately. My skin was paler, harder and colder. For that, I wore gloves and long sleeves. As for my eyes, I would tell them I had contacts.

When I arrived at my dad's house, I saw the two cars in the driveway; my mother and Phil were here too. Renesmee duplicated my anxiety, though she was also excited. We went to the front door and my dad answered. Renesmee stood behind me. "Bella?" my dad spoke. I smiled, "Hi Dad." We embraced each other and I felt my eyes sting, I wanted to cry. "Bella?" she called coming to the door. "Mom," I whimpered. Her eyes were red as she hugged me. "Hey Bells." I smiled, "Hi Phil." I hugged my parents and held my hand out, "Everyone, this is Renesmee, your granddaughter." She smiled timidly, "Hi." Tears streamed out of my mom's eyes, "Oh my gosh, she's beautiful." Renee hugged Renesmee, who began to cry too. No one questioned my new face, we were just all so happy to see each other again.

The visit went great and we did it every other weekend. Renesmee and I stayed in West Hurley for 6 years, then we moved closer to my parents, in Clintondale. I began to attend Vassar with Renesmee. I was too happy to have my parents back in my life. Even though I hated it, I ate dinner with them often. When Renesmee and I were home, I had to throw up all the food. I even took to cooking again, making everyone happier, especially my dad and Phil. We stayed in Clintondale for another 7 years, with the both of us earning graduate degrees. While we were there, my parents passed away. At their funerals, I spoke at all three funerals, not being able to compose myself. Renesmee was my only comfort, making even more thankful that I had her. After New York, Renesmee and I moved from area to area. We lived in Canada, Russia; we went back to the Amazon for another decade, New York City, which was Renesmee's favorite place. She loved the theaters. We moved to Africa, but only stayed for a year. There, we truly lived as vampires, only coming out at night. Neither of us cared for it much.

During our years, Renesmee and I had an incredibly close relationship. Though there were times we fought, we were like sisters too. While we moved, I alternated from attending school and working. In my life, I worked a lot of odd jobs to support myself and my daughter. Though Renesmee and I were their sole benefactors of my parents, I invested the majority of our investment. When we were undecided on where to move to, we lived in my dad's house in Poughkeepsie. When we lived in New York, Renesmee and I would spend the weekends in city, going to clubs, theaters and museums. She had a such thirst for knowledge that she wanted to satisfy. She enjoyed school, mostly when I attended school with her. She and I were used to the human boys and men staring at us, but we ignored it most of the time. To us, there was no one else in our world. Though we know there was a whole world of vampires out there, it didn't matter to us. To Renesmee, the world ended with me and I felt the same way about her.

I hoped to myself that I hoped she would find someone to love her and take care of her in a way I never could, but I also feared that as well. I knew all too well that when you loved someone, they could also pain you beyond all reason. Renesmee never showed interest in finding love, but I knew one day she would. I knew that having her mother would not be enough for her, but she never waivered. She said she loved only me and there would never be anyone else in our lives.


	8. Information

Chapter 8 – Information

I pulled back my shield and looked at them. Renesmee's head was in my lap and I played with her hair. I didn't need to look at her to tell she was fighting to stay awake. Carlisle sat with us on the mantle, "You're the ones Senna told me about." Renesmee sat up, "What do you mean?" He smiled, "Senna told me about a young vampire and her daughter that she met 60 years ago who fed on the blood of animals. She told me the last she heard was that two of them moved to Canada." I glanced over at Edward, then back to Carlisle with a confused looked. "Umm, Edward wasn't with us. He was away from us for a while." I nodded. If Edward were with them, he would have seen who Senna was talking about and they would have know that much sooner. I shook my head, "Well, you know now. Oh, by the way." I patted Renesmee's head, so she would pick herself up. I went to the china cabinet and took out a metal box from the bottom drawer. I sat back with Carlisle and Renesmee, giving him the box, "This is the information I collected about Renesmee."

I opened the box, taking out the steel vile containing the piece of her placenta. I also had locks of her hair, a sample of her blood, but he may need a fresher sample and the journal I kept of her growth progress. "I wanted you to have this. I knew you would be really interested in this information," I smiled. Renesmee giggled, "If you need anything else, just ask." Carlisle smiled and hugged me, "I am sorry Bella. Esme is right, we should have been there." I groaned and rolled my eyes, "Ok, let me say this for all of you to hear, but I can take care of myself. As you saw, I've survived this past century and took care of my daughter. Trust me; I can survive on my own." I heard someone chuckle. I looked up and Jasper was looking away from me.

I winked at Alice and she smacked him in his head. Renesmee giggled and I smiled. I saw it was after 10:30pm. "Honey, it's after 10. Do you want to get ready for bed?" Emmett guffawed, "She has a bedtime. Wow Bella!!!" I glowered and Renesmee was getting ready to lean into a crouch. She had a short temper, "Ness, he was joking. Don't even listen to him." She looked at me and I stared back reassuringly. She sighed and bit her lip, "Fine." She glowered at Emmett and he winked back. She shook her head and left the room. I smiled, "She has a short temper." I mouthed, "She doesn't get it from me." Esme, Alice and Rosalie nodded in understanding. I had conversations with the entire family, as they told me about what they had done in the past century.

I noticed as we talked, Edward hadn't spoken. He glared at the floor, practically burning a hole in it. It's been more than a century, but I was still concerned about him. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Alice staring at me. When I focused back at Edward, he was staring at me, straight into my eyes. This stare used to make me blush, but that was long gone now. After listening to the Cullen's stories, I saw it was after midnight. "I'll be right back. I just want to check on Renesmee." I could hear her sleeping soundly. I sprinted up the stairs and looked in on her. She played classical music as she slept. If I turned it off, she would wake up. I smiled as I saw her clothes on the floor. She was just like me in that regard.

I dashed around the room, picking up her clothing and folding them. I kissed her forehead and went back downstairs. It didn't matter to me how old she was, she was always my baby. When I was heading for the stairs, I heard Edward speaking, "This can't be real. I mean we left so she could have a real life." I closed my eyes, ignoring the sting in my eyes, "Believe it or not, I have a real life." I stepped back into the living room and saw Edward made his way to stand by the mantle, "I have a fuller life than I ever thought I would have." I gestured to the stairs, "I have my own home, my own family and a job I love. Yes, my life had changed from where I thought it was going, but I couldn't be happier. I have a daughter I love more and more each day. I'm a mother, something I never saw myself as. For the longest time, my daughter and I only had each other, but when we came back here, our family grew. When we came back and the wolves realized there was a vampire in the area, naturally they hunted us. One day, Renesmee was out hunting and a wolf was stalking her. When she turned to defend herself, the wolf stopped."

Esme gasped, "He just stopped?" I nodded, "Yes, Jacob didn't hurt her." "Jacob?" Edward asked. I shrugged, "He imprinted on Renesmee." Carlisle stood with his son, "Imprinted?" I sighed and walked over to the couch, sitting with Emmett and Alice, "When a wolf imprints, they've found their soul mate. Their perfect match. Jacob told me that there was some kind of pull he couldn't ignore. Something drew him to where Renesmee was. And when he saw her, it was as if a steel cable linked them together, permanently. He couldn't hurt her and none of the wolves in his pack could either. When I caught up with them, Jacob changed back to human and he was so shocked to see me. He knew Charlie wrote to me, but that was so long ago. He had no idea how I survived her birth. In some ways, he thought I was dead." Edward hissed at that statement, but I ignored him. "So, I told Jacob what happened and he understood. Jake's the alpha of his pack and he made it so that none of his pack could attack me, being that my death would shatter Renesmee and he could not see her in pain."

I smiled, "Actually, I'm allowed on the reservation. Being that they know I hunt animals and being Renesmee's mom, I'm trusted to not hurt anyone." Emmett's stared at me, "You can go over the treaty line?" I nodded, "Yea." He stood, "Wow, just wow." Alice slid over to me and hugged me, "This is amazing. I am so happy you are alive. I've missed you so much." I hugged her back, "I've missed you too." Alice sighed, "I really wished you would have contacted _me_." She flashed a look in Edward's direction and I ignored it. I didn't want her mad at him, it wasn't his fault. "Alice, how many times do I have to say this? It doesn't matter now. You're here and so am I. Let's be happy about that." Esme sat with us, "You're absolutely right." I even notice Rosalie smiling, "So, how long are you and Renesmee planning on staying?" I sighed, "Well, she's a junior in the school. She did say she was interested in going to Washington State, but she was undecided. Renesmee knows that is where I was attacked. I think Washington State would be good for her, but I won't push her into a decision she doesn't want. It all depends on where Renesmee wants to go to school."

The Cullen's stayed and talked with me for the majority of the night. Carlisle was already fingering through Renesmee's progress journal. He was completely fascinated, "Bella, I have a question?" "Yes?" He sighed and closed the book, "So, Renesmee will eventually marry Jacob, being that they are in love?" I nodded. "Well, what about the venom?" I smiled, "She isn't venomous." I held my hand out for the book and began flipping through the pages, "Here. I wrote about that. I left out that when she was born, she bit me. I hurt, but there was no venom in her bite. When I spoke to Huilen about it, she told me Nahuel was the one to change her. He bit her when she tried to pick him up. Nahuel has three sisters, hybrids like him and none of them is venomous. It seems only hybrid males are the venomous ones." Carlisle's eyes widened, "That is fascinating." He looked at the clock, "I'm sorry, Bella. We monopolized your entire night." I saw it was 3am. Like before, time flew by when I was with them, "It's fine. I would have just read anyway."

They began to get ready to leave. All through the evening, Edward stared at me. I tried my best to ignore his gaze. _Why was he suddenly interested in me?_ I mentally asked myself, annoyance thick in my mental voice. I hugged Alice, Esme, Carlisle, and Jasper. Emmett punched the back of my shoulder, knocking my throat into Jasper's shoulder. I whirled and caught him in a headlock, "I've wanted to do this to you since I was human." He chuckled darkly and took me up in his arms, "Alright, we are going to have this out soon," and he kissed me on my cheek. He placed me on my feet, took Rosalie's hand and walked out. Edward lingered in the room and I looked to him; he was still staring at me. I raised an eyebrow, "Is something wrong?" He stood woodenly, "I'm sorry. Good night, Bella." I watched as they drove away. Even in the night and through their dark windows, I could still see Edward staring at me.


	9. Friends

Chapter 9 – Friends

I was still in shock. My love, my Bella was here. It was a happy/sad feeling, but mostly happy. I thought she had died years ago. I contemplated having Alice look for her future. I wanted to die to be with her in the next life, but Esme talked me out of it. "Edward, Bella would not want you to do that to yourself." I remembered Bella's words from her birthday, _How dare you even think like that?_ She spat at me. _What if something did happen to you?_ _Would you want me to go __off __myself? _I still winced at the thought of Bella hurting herself because of me. When we arrived home, I sprinted out of the car and into my room. I took out the much too abused picture I had of her, the one I took from her room that dark day. I rarely looked at it in the past 50 years, thinking she had passed on. Her face was a permanent picture behind my eyelids. I looked at her face in her picture, the flush of her skin and her deep brown eyes.

I had to let her go a long time ago. At least, to the point that I was able to interact with my family the way I did before she came. But when it came to special occasions, I distanced myself from them. They had someone and I was envious. But now, she's here and alive. Alice and Esme were right though, she should have tried to find us. _Oh, I cannot believe this. Bella is here and she has a daughter. I am too happy. But that answers where that blouse disappeared to_, I picked up Alice's thoughts. She was practically levitating since we got home. She was already planning shopping trips with Bella and Renesmee.

Renesmee, Bella's daughter. That was completely 1000% unexpected. I admitted to myself that I did somewhat hope Bella would become a vampire and I would find her. I didn't let that hope progress, that was the main reason why I cut myself out of her life, but it was till there. When I saw Bella as a vampire, that hope built in my chest so much that I could have exploded from joy right there. But when I saw Renesmee, I did think she was a relative until I heard her say "Momma." Bella as a mom. I was grateful to Renesmee. Even though Bella was in this life, I was glad she was not alone. Renesmee, Bella's daughter. Bella's and….. I stopped at that. I saw red as I thought about the fiend who hurt my Bella. The one who stole her innocence and her full life. If she wasn't here, and I found out that happened to her, I would have hunted that ravenous animal to the ends of the earth.

I prayed that he would come back to Washington, just close enough for me to rip him apart. I smile came on my face when I thought of Bella hunting and ripping him apart with me. I could imagine the exuberant smile on her face when she got her revenge. The fantasy progressed as I saw the two of us embrace and I pressed my lips to hers. I was holding her closely to me, safe in my arms, where she belonged and where I wanted to be. I've yearned for that for more than a century. But it was my time again, Bella was here and I would have her back. While she spoke, Alice cursed me mentally, _Why did you make us leave? If we were there, she wouldn't have endured what she had, or at least not alone. Edward, make this right, she is supposed to be my sister._ I nodded to myself, I will make this right. I loved Bella now more than ever and I was already beginning to develop a love for Renesmee. She loved Bella more than anyone on the planet and she kept Bella happy. I know Renesmee did this because Bella was her mother, but I would find a way to repay her.

She was part of Bella, and Bella was part of me, so I knew, eventually Renesmee would become part of me as well. So, I began to plot, plot on getting my beloved back and showing her daughter I would never hurt her again. I saw Renesmee was mad at the man who left her mother broken. How was I going to gain Renesmee's forgiveness? How was I going to gain Bella's, and more importantly, how was I going to gain their trust?

************************************************************************

I drove to the school and Renesmee played with the radio. She lived for music, among other things. I had to admit, even to myself, I saw a lot of Edward in her. She loved music, when it came to me, she was very protective, she loved to drive recklessly fast, she wanted to teach me how to dance and she loved to annoy me. When I drove to the school, I saw Alice and the rest of the Cullen children in the car next to me. Alice was driving and Edward was in the passenger seat, "Hi Bella," she cheerfully chimed. Renesmee leaned forward to playfully glare at her. "Hi Renesmee." She waved, "Momma, is she always like that?" I smiled, "Worse." The light changed and I flew away from them. I saw Alice glaring in the rearview mirror as I passed them. Alice caught up with me and cut me off, "NO SHE DIDN'T!!" Renesmee spat. I pulled next to them at the next light, "Momma, let me drive." I rolled my eyes, looked at Alice, "Sure." I got out and switched seats with her.

"Alice, you owe me a new car," I said getting into the passenger seat. Renesmee snarled my engine, "Oh I'm going to kill that little vampire." Renesmee slammed the gas and flew away from the light. She saw Alice catching up, so Renesmee switched on the boosters she installed in the car and we flew pass the school. I turned and saw Alice still trying to catch up. Renesmee slammed the brakes, spinning the car around. When Alice pulled up, she and Renesmee began giggling. I got out and started walking back to the school. Emmett climbed out, laughing uncontrollably and grabbed my wrist, "Wait, wait," he hunched over still laughing. I looked around, trying not to laugh. I pushed him down to the ground, falling back into my old role. He snarled at me, "That's the second time you….." I stepped back, "you touch and you have detention. I'm still your teacher." I smiled as I got into my car and threw it into reverse, "Ness, Alice, let's go."

Alice and Renesmee talked for the majority for the morning, becoming fast friends. When I got to my fourth hour class, I noticed Renesmee, Alice and Rosalie transferred into the class. I shook my head, this was going to be a long semester, "Good morning class." I began the day's lesson. As usual, I heard the muffled moans of the boys, but I picked up a deep, quiet growl. I turned around and saw Edward glaring at one of the students. "Mr. Cullen?" I looked up to me and I held out the chalk, "Do you think solve this equation?" He nodded, "Yes, Ms. Platt," he stood and went to the board. I went back to my desk, taking off my sweater, revealing my strapless top. I heard a quiet snap and saw dust falling to Edward's feet. I raised an eyebrow, "Hold on," I placed a hand on his shoulder. I pulled down the marker board and rewrote the equation, "This is better." "And try not to break the marker," I spoke silently while handing him one. "Everyone, try to get it yourselves."

I sat on the edge of my desk, watching the class. I saw Renesmee and Alice were talking quietly. I cleared my throat, the both of them looked up and I shook my head. Renesmee got back to work, but Alice stared at me. I pulled my authority, "Something wrong, Ms. Cullen?" Her mouth fell open, "No Ms. Platt." She turned her head to her work, "Come on, Bella," she whispered. I smiled, "I'm still the teacher until the end of the day," I responded turning back to look at Edward's progress. He was already done and was pretending to double check his work. I hopped off the desk, "Very good. Thank you, Edward." He handed me back the marker, touching my skin. As we touched, I automatically looked into his eyes; his were already on mine, "You're welcome, Ms. Platt." "Bella," he whispered heading back to his seat. I saw Emmett holding out his fist to Edward as he walked by.

I walked through the aisle, checking the student's work. I lingered by Emmett for the shortest moment, and hit him in the back of the head, "Try and you're dead," I whispered. It was amazing how I was able to communicate so openly and playfully with them in a roomful of humans. "Ok," I spoke aloud, "as you can see Edward got it right. Now who got it?" I continued with lesson, finishing ahead of time as usual. "Alright, now I have a surprise for you all. Who knows what is happening in Seattle next weekend?" Seven pale hands went up in the back of the classroom. I rolled my eyes, "Ms. Hale?" Rosalie smiled, "The Cherry Blossom Festival." I nodded, "Correct. Now, that is my personal favorite event and some lucky few will be attending it with me. Tomorrow I will be quizzing you with the five most difficult equations we've ever had. The first 10 students who finish first and pass the quiz, will be attending the festival with me. The only thing you will have to bring is a camera. Is anyone up for that?" The class broke out into happy chatter agreeing to the academic challenge, "Excellent, so you might want to study. I'm going to vicious on this quiz, sleep on that."

The bell rang and the class cleared out. I cleared my desk and saw none of Cullen's or Renesmee had moved. They were talking amongst themselves. I walked to the back of the class, "Problem?" Alice beamed, "You know I'll see what questions you'll put on the test and I just memorize those." I grimaced, "More than a century and you've done the impossible. You're more irritating." She pouted, "Mean." I shook my head, "Get to lunch." Renesmee was chattering with Alice, Rosalie and Jasper as they left, Emmett close behind. I packed my own bag and saw Edward leaning in the doorway, his arms crossed looking at me, "What?" I asked. He sighed and looked to the floor, "Bella, we need to talk." I shrugged, "About?" My voice was dripping with acid, what did he want? He looked at me from underneath his long lashes, "About why I left?" I shook my head and sighed, "Not now. This isn't a good time."

I walked past him, "Anyway, it doesn't matter. That's how you felt. I learned to deal with it and I did what you wanted, I began to live my life." With that, I walked away and left him there, to think about that.


	10. Closer

Chapter 10 – Closer

I wanted to cry. She did do what I want, now, if she would do what I wanted now. I wanted to hug her, wrap my arms in the protective circle they once were for her. Her scent lingered as she walked through the hall. When I met up with my family, I saw five people sitting at our usual table, Renesmee had joined us today. "But you should have been here at Halloween. Everyone wore costumes and my," she looked around herself, "aunt and I wore matching costumes. I was a cheerleader and she was a football player. She wore white form-fitting capri pants and a low cut skintight blue Giants jersey. She had a large sapphire charm, which hung down to her chest and white strap heels. My costume was a white mini-skirt, with mid-thigh boots, a blue Giants top with blue and white pompoms. When we got out of the car, people stood dead in their tracks. The guys gawked and I heard Mike say how he wanted to tackle her." She giggled, "You want to see what she looked like?" she asked. "How?" Alice asked. Renesmee put her palm on Alice's cheek and Alice gasped. I saw through their minds of Bella's costume. "Honey, how did you do that?" Renesmee smiled, "I'm gifted, like my mom, I mean my aunt," she rolled her eyes.

Rosalie sighed, "Another one. Wonderful," she smiled affectionately at Renesmee. _This is really unbelievable. I can't believe Bella had a baby. She was such a beautiful child. If only I was human_, Rosalie thought to herself. I knew how much Rosalie a child. Renesmee spoke with Alice, "This Saturday, we're going shopping." Alice snorted, "Wow, she has changed. When she was human, she hated shopping." _Maybe she knows_. "Alice, do you know who it was that left my mom?" Alice blinked, "I don't think I should talk to you about that. Bella kept it from you for a reason." She bit her lip, "I thought you might say that." _Maybe I can find out how much she knows_, Alice schemed herself. "Well, what did she tell you?" Renesmee shrugged, "I knew she loved him beyond all reason, even though he thought he was bad for her. She didn't care. And honestly, sometimes I think she still loves him." She sighed, "Promise me, all of you that you won't tell her this?" _This is gonna be good_, Emmett anticipated. "I read her diary a few months ago, right when we moved here. She wrote that it was difficult for her to be back here, the town where she met him. She wrote that the whole in her chest that his absence created wasn't filled. She was healed in many ways because of me, but she still is in pain because of him. She's not over him, that's why I think she still in love."

This was great, but terrible. I left such a gap in her life, but she still loved me. Renesmee will hate when she finds I was the one who hurt her mother so much. _I don't know him, but when I find him_, I heard her think. I wouldn't deny her whatever she wanted to do to me. She was completely justified in doing it. I hurt Bella so much, and in turn, hurt Renesmee. She was so sweet, just like Bella. They were linked, hurt one, hurt both. She sighed, "Well, anyway. There are a lot more stories I could tell you, like the time we lived in Canada and she stated she was my mother." That brought me back, "What happened?" She smiled brightly, "Well, I got into a lot of trouble at school. The first time she came to my school and the students saw her. My friend, Brittney asked who was she and I told her my mom, she was completely shocked."

"She was going on saying 'No way, that's not your mom.' But some guys were saying some awful things like they were going to be my new step-dad. I actually punched one boy in the mouth, breaking his jaw. They wanted to press charges, but Momma showed up in a mini-skirt and I was just suspended. Oh, and by the way, don't let that demure of hers fool you, she knows what she looks like. She _knows_ what she does to human males." She looked to the doors, "Here she comes. You'll see what I'm talking about." We watched the doors as Bella entered. She stood in the doorway and I had to admit, she looked more confident. The complete opposite of the insecure little girl she was when I first met her. She walked through the cafeteria with authority and everyone noticed. I watched as her hips swish in her pants, the way her legs moved in her boots, the way her arms swayed and how she ran her fingers through her hair. I was completely hypnotized. Bella did the impossible; she was even more beautiful and desirable. She looked towards our table and Renesmee waved, fluttering her fingers. She smiled back and winked at her daughter. Bella's head snapped in the opposite direction when she saw two boys starting to fight.

She flew through crowd and separated the boys, holding them at arms length, "Stop it!" she snarled. Even with the anger on her face, she was so angelic and my heart swelled. She held the boys by their collars, though they were a head taller than she was. "My office, now!" She didn't release them as she walked them from the cafeteria. Renesmee smiled, "See. Bet you even money those boys were fighting over her." Emmett elbowed Jasper, it was too easy for them to ignore, "You're on." _Momma was right; they would go for it. What do we need done? I know_. "Ok, I bet you that the fight was regarding and I get," she pretended to deliberate, "you two to carry mine and my mom's shopping bags on Saturday, drive us to and from any store we want and you have to pay for the whole trip, including the things we buy." Jasper and Emmett looked at each other, "Cool, but if we win, you have to be our maid for a month and you have to drive us to school for that month." Renesmee blinked once, "Done" and she held out her hands for them to shake. Jasper looked at me, "Well, Edward what was the fight about?"

I cupped my hands on the table and sighed deeply, "Get out your chauffeur's hats, because Renesmee was right. They were arguing about who was going to ask Bella out first after graduation." _YOU'VE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!!! BELLA!!_ Emmett thought. I snarled at him and he retracted his thought. "You're good, kid," Jasper confessed. Renesmee smiled, "Yea, yea, be at my house at 10. And I hope you have money, because there's a huge shoe sale and I need to stock up," she winked at them. The bell rang and Renesmee and Alice pranced out of the cafeteria, giggling. Alice was hoping to get in on the shopping trip.

************************************************************************

After school, Renesmee told me about her bet. "Honey, you shouldn't have done that," I looked towards Emmett and Jasper, "but I'm glad you did. I need new skirts." We high-fived and laughed aloud. When Emmett and Jasper glared at us, we laughed harder, "You may want to get some rest," I stated getting into the car. As we drove home, I noticed their car behind mine. This didn't bother me, I was happy that they were back in my life and Renesmee was getting along with them. Even though I was standoffish with him, part of me was happier still that Edward was near me again. As we pulled into my driveway, they parked their car on the curb. "Do you mind?" Emmett asked. I was about to answer, but Alice did it for me, "She doesn't. Let's go." She walked past me, taking Renesmee's hand and walked into the house. I watched after them and looked back to the others, "And you've dealt with this for the past century." They shrugged and I heard something coming towards me from behind. I spun around a caught the large saucepan that was going for the back of my head, "You say that one more time and we're fighting." I huffed, "Bring it on, honey." Jasper took the pan and guided me inside.

Inside, Renesmee and Alice were watching television, talking about the shopping trip. I drifted into the seldom-used kitchen and went through the mail. It was odd, having the Cullen's in the house; permanent kids and I was the adult, though they were all older than I was. I turned on the radio and began singing along with the song. I was so used to singing aloud that it didn't phase me if anyone heard; especially since my voice was like a bell. I sang to myself, going through the bills, my feet up on the other seat. I heard footsteps coming down the hall and recognized them immediately. What did he want now? Can we just put the past behind us? I didn't look up, "Yes, Edward." I was surprised to see it was jasper, "Wishful thinking?" I laughed sarcastically, "What's up?" He looked down, "Bella, I owe you an apology." My eyebrow furrowed, "For what?" He sighed, "For what I did on your birthday. Bella, I cannot tell you…"

I growled and he stopped, "Jasper, it's been a century. Get over it, I have. I'm not upset and even then, I wanted you to know I wasn't mad. I felt terrible. I was the one who should have been more careful. It's your nature, well ours now." I hugged him and he hugged me back, "Don't worry about that," I smiled, "but what you need to worry about is that quiz I'm giving tomorrow." He scoffed, "Come on, Ms. Platt, can't you cut us a break considering our history." I laughed, "Nope. You've got to earn that trip." We laughed and went into the living room. Alice was rubbing her temples, "Give it up, Alice. I haven't made up my mind yet." She grimaced, "No, its not that. I can't see clearly." Jasper flew to her side, "Are you alright?" She sighed, "Yes, but I think I know what's causing the blurs in my vision." She looked at Renesmee, who was sitting on the floor with Rosalie, "Me?"

"I can't see you or around you," Alice looked at me, "I think that's why I didn't see you Bella, when you were alone and pregnant. I've never been a vampire-human hybrid, so it seems, Renesmee isn't clear to me." Renesmee stood up and came by me, "I'm sorry, Alice, I didn't know." I hugged her reassuringly and Alice looked at us, "Don't worry, sweetie. I'm not upset, it's just an interesting development. Don't worry yourself. You need to study for you're mother's bloodbath of a quiz." I smiled wryly, "Ness, stay with Alice while I make up the exams." Renesmee giggled and went back to the floor with Rosalie. I saw Edward smile sheepishly and looked back to the television. I went back to the kitchen and began making the exams.

While I worked, a felt a rush of wind as someone flew into the room, "Would you please let me do this?" I stood and spun around only to face Edward. His face was apologetic, "Sorry. I didn't mean to disturb you." I snorted, "Yes, you did. That's why you came in here." He chuckled once, "True. I just wanted to know if I could talk to you." I sighed, "Yes, but I won't discuss why you left." He sighed, "Please Bella," his eyes smoldered into mine, "I need to tell you this." I sighed and looked over his shoulder, "Not now. I know it's frustrating, but I promise we will talk, just not now." I walked past him and he grabbed my arm; an electric current ran through my body from his touch, spinning me back to look at him, "When?" I stared at his face, trying not to look at his lips, "Soon." He sighed and left the kitchen, going back to the living room.


	11. Remembering

Chapter 11 – Remembering

The Cullen's stayed for the whole evening and Renesmee stayed close to Alice so that she wouldn't see what was on the quiz. Renesmee had charmed the whole family. Esme and Carlisle came over and spent the evening with us. The next day, Alice was at our doorstep, "Can I get I ride with you?" I sighed, "Do you need to ask?" Renesmee was happy to see her, "Hi, Alice." They chattered in the backseat all the way to school. During my fourth hour class, everyone was nervous about my quiz. "Calm down, everyone, it won't be _that_ bad." The Cullen's and Renesmee went to their seats, talking. "Quiet down, guys. And get ready. The quiz will be starting in two minutes." I walked along the aisles passing out the quizzes, "No one starts until I am finished handing them out." As I handed them out, I heard the groans of several students; I couldn't help smiling. When I passed their seats, Alice was smiling, "We're all going to pass," she whispered. I shook my head and headed for the front of the class, "Ok, get started and have fun," I smiled. I sat at my desk and read Wuthering Heights. I heard a faint chuckle from the back of the room, I looked up and Edward was staring at me.

"Get back to work," I whispered. He looked back to his paper and began writing. After another 15 minutes, Alice and Emmett came up to my desk. I glared at them and they smiled. I checked their work; both of them got perfect scores. I stood and wrote on the board:

Cherry Blossom Festival Trip

Alice Cullen

Emmett Cullen

As I turned to sit back down, Renesmee, Jasper and Rosalie came up to my desk. They placed their sheets on my desk and danced back to their seats. They got perfect scores as well. I wrote their names:

Renesmee Swan

Jasper Hale

Rosalie Hale

I was sitting for another minute, when Edward came up to my desk. When he turned, his hand grazed the back of mine, sending the current through my body. Another perfect score; this was annoying, but expected.

Edward Cullen

During the hour, I picked up their conversations. They spoke so low, that none of the other students heard them. At the end of the hour, my ten students were selected. The last four were:

Dwayne Kyle

Mary Stewart

Kat Stratford

John Richardson

After the end of the hour, no one lingered behind as I left the room. The week went on nicely and Saturday came by quickly. Jasper and Emmett were at my front door exactly at 10am. Renesmee giggled when she saw the black Mercedes parked outside. As we got in the back seat, Alice was there, practically bouncing. She and Renesmee chattering like two typical teenagers.

In Seattle, Renesmee and Alice pulling Emmett and Jasper through almost every store and each of them had armfuls of bags. "Don't worry, Bella. She's nothing compared to Alice," Jasper joked. After shopping until Renesmee literally dropped, we were heading back to Forks. When Renesmee aught sight of a dealership, she ordered Emmett to pull in there. I looked to her, "Honey? I don't know." She looked at me with her big brown eyes, "Please Momma. Jake taught me how and he told you were pretty good. We could have matching ones." She clamped her hands together, pleading, "Please, please." I smiled, "Mine's gonna be blue," I said getting out of the car.

We were in a Kawasaki dealership. Emmett groaned, "You're joking, right?" I looked to Renesmee who was already looking at bikes, "Nope. She wants one and you had an agreement." Alice looked at Renesmee, "Bella, you know how to ride a motorcycle?" I nodded, "Yes, Jacob taught me." "When?" she glared at me. I bit my lip, "Few months after you left." Her eyes popped open, "But you promised." I scoffed, "He broke his promise first, so why did I need to keep mine." I walked pass her and began looking at the bikes. Renesmee and I picked out matching Ninja ZX 14's; mine blue and hers purple. Jasper was intrigued by the bikes and said he may get on himself. Renesmee and I rode our new bikes home. She was too keyed up to stay home, so she went to La Push to show Jacob her new toy. Alice helped me put away Renesmee's new clothes. She hadn't let up about the motorcycles, "Bella, are you insane? You could have hurt yourself." I looked at her, "Actually, I did the first day I rode it. I didn't know how to turn and I bashed my head into a rock. Blood for days." She gasped, "Bella," she snarled. I sighed in exasperation, "Alice, it's ancient history. Let it go." I walked to my bedroom and she followed, "No, I will not. You have any idea how much Edward would have been pained if he found out you were doing that."

I shook my head, "Not really. I didn't want me, remember?" She sighed, "Bella, regardless, he wouldn't want to hear about you doing anything like that." I turned to her, she was sitting on my bed, "Maybe that's why he didn't hear about it back then. What difference does it make now? When I ride my bike, nothing would happen to _me_. I am as indestructible as you are." She snorted, "Clearly, I'm not getting through to you. I'll see you later." "Bye, honey." She sighed and looked back to me, "Bella, what happened to you? You were never this tactless. What happened?" I looked at her, then my eyes fell to the floor, "It's been a long life, but not easy. I had to learn to be tough for my daughter and myself." She exhaled deeply, "You really should have tried to find us. No matter what he said, we would have helped you." I bit my lip, "It doesn't matter anymore."

I watched at they pulled off and wallowed in my own sadness. I hated being so hard with Alice, but I couldn't let myself be pulled back in further than I already have. It's been more than a century, but they still had that hold over me and can see that a hold was being developed over my daughter. In all our time in civilization, Renesmee has never made any friends that she can be truly uninhibited. With Alice, Jasper, Rosalie, Edward and Emmett, Renesmee could truly be herself. With her human friends, she had to watch herself, but with the Cullen's, she didn't have to hold back. I saw Renesmee truly enjoyed spending time with the Cullen's. I didn't want to distance her from them, because it would have been a matter of time before we ran into them, and they were hard to resist and so was she.

This was going to be very difficult. But maybe not so much for Renesmee, because no matter where we went, Jacob was coming with us. She would have someone to confide in and console her. She would be upset when we have to separate ourselves from the Cullen's. I didn't want to admit it, even to myself, I was jealous of my daughter. She had it a bit easier than me. She could bond with the family, without having a tangled history. She had someone who loved her unconditionally. Though I hoped she find someone, it seemed to happen so fast. I remember the day I found her and I saw the giant wolf.

"RENESMEE!!!" I screamed searching for her. I found her in a small clearing, in close proximity to the wolf. I leapt between them, ready to defend my child. I recognized the wolf, especially its dark eyes. The wolf turned and sprinted away. I spun back, "Honey, are you alright? Did it hurt you?" Renesmee just stared off in the direction of where the wolf left, "I'm fine. It didn't attack me. It just stared at me. I don't think even knew what I was." I heard the faint sounds of someone's approach, "We have to get going." I pulled at her hand, but she didn't move, "No Momma. It won't hurt me." Right then, he came through the bushes, my best friend, my ex-boyfriend, Jacob. He looked directly at Renesmee and she looked back. "Jake?" He tore his eyes from her and looked at me, "Bella?" I gasped, he looked exactly the same, "Jacob?" I whimpered. He didn't make any motions to embrace me. We were natural enemies now. Jacob look back to Renesmee, "Who is this?" I looked at her, "My daughter. I had the baby and I changed into a vampire." Jacob appraised her, from head to toe, "She looks exactly like you. She changed you?" "No. In the house, I found a vile of venom. I used that. Renesmee isn't venomous."

Jacob stepped closer, "Ohh. Do you live here again?" I nodded, "Yes, in Charlie's house. It's mine now." Renesmee hadn't spoken, she just stared at him. I looked between them. There was something there, in their eyes. Something familiar, when I had someone who stared at me. "Jacob? What's the matter?" While I spoke, Renesmee walked towards him. It was a shock when I saw him hold his hand out for her, "My name is Jacob Black." My head dropped when Renesmee smiled and stepped closer to him, wrapping her arms around him. I wanted to attack him when he kissed her. When they pulled apart, he held her face and he looked at her the way Sam looked at Emily. It was a hazy memory but I remembered. Part of my mind wanted to take Renesmee away from him, but another part reminded me that this is what I wanted for her. I wanted someone to love her and care for her in ways I couldn't.

From that day, you couldn't keep them apart. I was happy that they had each other. Jacob told me that he was the alpha of his pack now and there were only three of them, him, Leah Clearwater and Errol Uley, great-grandson of Sam Uley. Leah was the second in command and she would take over as leader if Jacob ever left the pack. He said he would have, if Renesmee wanted him to, but she didn't. It's still difficult for me to be in the same room as them. Love just radiated off them and it made the hole in my chest ache. The hole was still there, but it wasn't as resonant as it was before. _Bella_, my hallucination called to me. Yes? I answered mentally. _Don't be upset, I'm here_. _I know, but it still hurts. I miss you so much_. The velvet voice comforted me, _You see me everyday, say something_. _You said you didn't want me, how can I?_ _Because I'll never leave you again_. I suppressed the voice. That wasn't true. He'll stay a little while longer, then leave again. I clutched myself in my arms. I'd begin to hope without consent. Edward had his family. He wants to talk about that dark day, but doing so would make the pain worse.

Maybe one day, I'll hear his side, but for now, I had to keep him at bay. He broke me once before, if he did it again, even as an immortal, I'd die. I'd die, but not worry. Renesmee has Jacob and he will comfort her. I would just die, letting the pain cocoon me in an unbreakable hold. My breaths staggered and I shuttered, clutching my fists to the sides of my head. This wasn't healthy. All my progress, all my work in trying to let him go, gone. Gone since that very day I saw him in my class. Why couldn't I let him go? My own mental voice came to me, _Because you love him_. I shook my head, I can't love him, he hurt me. He could do it again. _You're silly_, my velvet hallucination told me, _I'll never hurt you again_. _No, you will. So, I can't. I won't_. I had to maintain my hard mask. Maintain it so he will not see he still has his hold on me. I swore to myself, Edward will not damage me again.


	12. Admitting

Chapter 12 – Admitting

Renesmee and I rode our motorcycles to school and heard all the students gasp. "She is such a cool aunt," I heard Nicole Douglas tell her friends. Renesmee could not stop smiling, she was so happy to have her own mode of transportation. As I got off my bike, I saw Alice glowering at me. I couldn't help but smile, she was still protective of me, even though it wasn't necessary. Edward was leaning against the back of his car, with his arms folded. He was looking at the ground, not looking at me for once. As I got my bag from the back of the bike, I heard several students shouting and I picked up Emmett's voice, "Edward, let him go. It's not worth it." I sprinted through the crowd to find Edward clutching at Dante Smith's collar, "You do not talk about her like that!"

I flew through the crowd and separated them, "ENOUGH!" I practically roared. I looked between them and they were glaring at each other. I looked at Edward and he looked like he was ready to rip off the boy's head. "My office!" Edward closed his eyes and walked ahead of me. Dante tried to shrug out of my hold, but he was unsuccessful. As they entered my office, the both of them sat in the seats in front of my desk. I stood by the window, sighed, "What happened? And do not lie to me." Both of them were silent. "Ok, make this more difficult." I sat behind my desk, pulling out papers. Each minute you take up puts on each day to your suspension. Each ten and that's expulsion. Dante sighed, "I must have said something to set him off." Edward glared, "You were speaking disrespectfully about her." I looked between them, "Who?" Dante was glowering at Edward, "Mr. Smith, who were you talking about?"

He looked to the floor. "That's one day," I threatened. He was still silent, "Two." I looked to Edward, "Mr. Cullen, who was he talking about?" Edward looked into my eyes, "You." I huffed, "Me? What did he say?" Dante sighed, "I said…." He hesitated, "I was said you looked damn hot on your motorcycle." I rested my head in my hand, "Is that all?" I knew Edward wouldn't have acted the way he did for just that, unless he heard something Dante didn't say out loud. Dante bit his lip, "I may have said, ummm," he blushed, "I wished you would have… um." I held up my hand, "Forget it, I don't want to know." I looked between them, "Now, who started the fight?" "He did," Dante stated. "I was walking looking at your bike and he grabbed my jacket. He started threatening me." I glanced at Edward, whose arms were folded, "How did he threaten you?" Dante sighed, "I tried to get him off me and he said if I ever spoke about you like that again, he said he would kill me."

I sighed, "Dante, go to your class and I will talk to you later. And we will discuss your little remarks. But, Mr. Cullen, I want to talk to you now. Dante, go." He half-ran out of the room. I got up and closed the door, "What the hell were you thinking?" He didn't move, "Hello? I mean are you crazy. Threatening a child. Edward, I've told you this before, people are going to talk about me and you cannot over-react like that. It's risky for you and your family." He still didn't speak. "Do you have anything to say?" I looked at him, but he was staring straight ahead. I sighed, sat on my desk, looking away from him, "Edward, you cannot act like this. Being a teacher, I should report your threat to the principal, but since you are new, I'm giving you some leniency. But this can't happen again." When I turned back to him, he was standing right in front of me.

He stared into my eyes. "Edward, you must apolo…" Edward moved swiftly, even too fast for my eyes. He held my face and pressed his lips, forcibly to mine. I could have pushed him off so easily, but I couldn't. He held me close to him, wrapping his arms around me. I fought the impulses that flew threw me, but I couldn't for long. With trembling hands, I held his shoulders. He lowered my back onto the desk and half his body on top of mine. Time was meaningless as he kissed me. I could have stayed this way for the rest of eternity, enveloped in this stolen moment. His breath blew into my mouth as he parted my lips and it was still just as sweet. His hand tangled in my hair, holding my head to his. _I told you. I wasn't going to leave you again_, my hallucination told me and I believed it. In this small moment, it seemed like he loved me.

As he kissed me, he pinned my hands over my head and a memory flashed to the forefront of my mind. Another man holding me down, kissing me, but I didn't want it. My eyes flashed open and saw dark hair and the pale skin. I tensed and pushed him off. He landed on his feet, staring at me, "I'm sorry." I was gasping for air, "What was that? Are you truly insane?" "I'm sorry, but I've been waiting to do that…" "For a week?!" I interjected. He stared at me, "No, for more than a century." I gasped, "But, I'm your teacher." He shook his head, "No, you're my Bella." I closed my eyes and gritted my teeth, "Stop being your Bella the day you left." He reached out to me, but I cringed back, my back against the wall, "Don't touch me." "Bella, please," he pleaded, "Can I just tell you what I have to say?" I couldn't look at him. I wrapped my arms around myself and nodded. "Bella, on the day I left, I was lying to you. I could never not want you. You have changed me so completely. I love you. I love you more now than then. Please Bella, please say you forgive me. I will leave you alone, but I need to know that you are not mad at me."

I stared at the floor, "Just go. Go to class." "Bella…." "GO!!" I snapped. I heard him dash out of my office. I was shaking and slid down to the floor. Even as a vampire, I was having hysterics. That wasn't Stephan. He's long gone. That was Edward and you love him. _Bella, please, you must calm down. Go for a run_, the hallucination recommended. I nodded and got to my feet. I inhaled the open air and that helped. I walked over to my motorcycle, I left my shoes in the side compartment and walked into the trees. I began running through the woods. Running was always a comfort. It helped me think. This is what I needed.

************************************************************************

I went to my first class. I forged Bella's handwriting and wrote a notice for my tardiness. I slunk into my seat, completely hurt. _What's the matter?_ Rosalie asked. I shook my head and tried to focus on the lesson. The look on her face was burned into the insides of my eyelids. When I held her and kissed her, she responded to me. I thought she was happy. I have waited so long to hold her again, I couldn't fight it. With her so close and angry with me, she enticed me so much. The way her body felt against mine was more than everything I ever imagined. She was soft, but sturdier. Her lips moved with mine as they did before. I was completely euphoric when I was with her. All my passion for her, all my desire was spilling out in that office. If it was liquid, the entire world would have flooded, that was how much I needed, loved and wanted Bella. _I wonder where she is, she's never missed class before_, I heard some students discussing. They were wondering where Bella was. Renesmee was walking through the hall and heard them. _That's odd, that's the second class she missed. I wonder what's wrong_. Renesmee smiled at me as she walked by. If Bella wasn't in the school, where was she? I went through my other two classes and was happy when my fourth hour class was up next, I could see her.

I was the first one there, as the others filed in. Renesmee was talking with Alice, "Did you see her? Where is she?" Renesmee was truly concerned about her mother, very protective. "She's on her way back. She went running." Renesmee's eyes widened, "Really?" "Yea, she went as far as Canada, then she doubled back. She'll be here in two minutes." Renesmee huffed, "Something's really wrong," she whispered. By the way, Edward. I saw you this morning. This isn't going to be easy. "Alice, some things really wrong." Alice shook her head, "No." Renesmee exhaled, "Trust me. I could tell when I heard she missed class. I can read her like a book. First, she missed class. She loves to teach. Second, she went running. She only runs when she needs to think. Now, you tell me she left the country, some things really bothering her." _What happened? She was fine, until she had to break up Edward's fig…_, Renesmee cut off her thought and looked at me, _What did you do?_ she asked, glowering at me. I looked back at her, then to the front door, Bella was coming.


	13. My Real Story

Chapter 13 – My Real Story

Running was a wonderful activity for me. My mind was so clear. I went back to the school to face my demons. Edward lied to me, then he kissed me. It was wrong for me to act as I did. It was what I wanted for so long, but it was just unexpected. Unexpected like that night. It just scared me, but there was something scary I had to face; Edward's truth. He left me for me. His words in the forest, the ones that broken me weren't true. I pondered this as I walked into my fourth hour class. The class was chattering away and I just walked to my desk. I sighed, "Good morning class." I faced my students, ignoring the golden-eyed ones in the back. "Ok, I was very happy with everyone. You all passed your quizzes, so, though some of you are going to the festival, I was thinking of something else to reward all of you." I smiled, "On Friday, I know its short notice, but I have permission slips for all of us to go for the day to play paintball." The class erupted into cheers, "OK! OK! I guess you guys want to do this." I handed the slips to the students in the front, "Have your parents sign them and get them back to me. I've already arranged for a bus to take us to. We're going to the Olympic National Park, where I've registered two fields for us to play in and, for once, it's not going to be raining. So, let's be at the school by 8am and we'll spend the whole day shooting each other."

The class was too happy about their trip and it helped me cheer up. "I am going to shoot her right between the eyes," I heard Emmett whisper. "Not before I do," Jasper challenged. I heard them say ouch. I turned and Renesmee winked at me, "Don't worry, I'll keep them off you." I started my lesson, finishing early as always. When I allowed the class their free time, I began reading. Renesmee came up to my desk, "Momma, what's the matter?" I looked up at her, "Nothing." "You're lying. I can tell." I sighed, "Not now. Please." Renesmee nodded, "After class?" I nodded, "Yes." I sighed, "Do you feel like staying the rest of the day?" She shrugged, "Not really." "Ok, we had a family emergency then." "Great," and she pranced back to her seat. This wasn't going to be an easy conversation. I would have to make Renesmee's favorite snack, which I hadn't done in a long time. After class was over, everyone left and Alice lingered at my desk, "Bella, if you want to talk later, you know you just have to…" "Make the decision and you'll be there." She smiled sheepishly, "Whatever you decide, we'll understand." She left for the cafeteria and Renesmee and I left for the parking lot.

At home, I began making her favorite snack, a recipe I came up with especially for her. She helped me prepare and bake her favorite blood brownies. Blood and chocolate were Renesmee's two favorite things to eat, so I found a way to combine the two. I hunted a lion and drained its blood, keeping it in the fridge. Renesmee was happy about her treat, but it only confirmed her suspensions. As we sat in the living room, she already ate two brownies, "Ok, Momma. What happened? You were fine this morning, until you broke up Edward's fight? Did he say something to you?" So perceptive, just like me. I nodded, "Not just that, but what he did." Her eyes securitized my face, "What did he do?" He kissed me. Renesmee tried to fight a smile, "Really? Then why do you look so upset? What did he say?" This was it. It was time to tell her the truth. To know what happened to me before she was born.

I squared my shoulders and inhaled through my nose, "Renesmee, you know that I knew the Cullen's when I was human, but what you don't know is how close I was to them. Alice was my best friend. Emmett was like the most annoying, but loving big brother. Jasper kept his distance from me, because my blood was a temptation. Rosalie ignored me, because she didn't like me. She thought I was a risk to her family. Esme and Carlisle were like second parents to me, and Edward…." I sighed and looked her in her eyes, "he was the love of my life." Renesmee's eyes widened, "Edward?!" I held up my hand, "Let me finish, please." She pushed the plate away and folded her arms in her lap. "You know I was born in Forks, moved away with my mom and came back when I was seventeen. When I started school is when I first met Edward. My blood's scent was the sweetest most tempting he's ever smelt in his life. Right there and then, he thought about killing me and consuming my blood. But he didn't want to disappoint Carlisle. So, he left for a week and when he came back, he began talking to me. Edward saved me from being killed in the school's parking lot, from being attacked in Port Angeles by four men and from being killed again by a deranged vampire tracker named James."

"Edward used to sneak into my room at night while I slept. He told me at first he was disgusted with himself for doing that. Alice had a vision of me joining their family as Edward's mate and vampire. But her visions are based on what people decide. He told me the first night he came here, I spoke in my sleep and said his name, begging him not to leave me. He said right then he realized he loved me. After saving me in Port Angeles and after Jacob told me the legends of his tribe, I realize I was in love with him too. After destroying James and tricking to go to the prom with him, Edward and I were inseparable. He was here almost everyday while I recovered from a broken leg. He took me and encouraged me in my physical therapy and he spent almost every night with me. I wanted so much to be a vampire, so I could spend eternity with him, but he didn't want to destroy my soul. When my eighteenth birthday came about, I was upset."

I laughed, "I was upset because I was physically older than him. Back then, I was terrified that I would age and fade away, while he remained. So, on my birthday, the Cullen's threw me a party, against my wishes. I was opening a present and got a paper cut. Jasper, being the newest member to the vegetarian lifestyle charged at me and Edward, in an act of protecting me, knocked me across the room and a scarred my entire right arm. I landed on a pile of glass plates and there was a lot of glass in my wound. That night was the last night I saw Carlisle, Esme, Rosalie, Emmett, Jasper and Alice. Carlisle patched me up and Edward took me home. For two days, Edward hardly spoke to me and on the third day," I wrapped my arms around my torso. The hole was paining me. "On the third day Edward told me that he didn't want me anymore. He said he was tired of pretending to be something that he wasn't; a human. When he told me that his family was leaving, I said I would go with him, but he said he didn't want that."

"He asked me to not do anything reckless, but I broke that promise, when I bought two used motorcycles and had Jacob teach me to ride them. When Edward left me in the forest, just behind this house, I crumpled to the ground and," I exhaled, trying to breath out the pain, "I laid on the forest floor for hours, saying 'He's gone, he's gone.' That's when the Cullen's left. I've never loved anyone the way I love Edward and I never will. Though they're back now, I don't want to get too close to them again. And today, in my office after I sent Dante back to his class, Edward kissed me, but I had a flash back to the night I was attacked and pushed him away. He told me that he lied to me that day. That he didn't mean it when he said he didn't want me. He even said he loved me, still. He told me that he's wanted to kiss me since the day they left. So, now you know. Edward was the one who left me broken, but Jacob did try to heal me."

Renesmee stared at me and I saw tears welling in her eyes. "Renesmee?" She shook her head, "Him? He did this? He hurt you?" I heard the sob about to break out of her. I wrapped my arms around her and she cried into my shoulder, "Momma, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." I shushed her, "You have nothing to be sorry about." She pushed me away, "Yes I do. First, Edward leaves you, then you're attacked when he was gone. Edward should have been there to protect you. Then I rip myself out of you, causing you to change into this," she gestured to my body. A torrent of tears fell from her eyes. "Renesmee, stop. I don't regret any of this. How can I regret it when I got you?" She shook her head, "No, I ruined your life." I balked and my eyes opened widely, "How could you say that? Renesmee, you gave me life. You were gave me a family and made me something I never once thought I'd be; a mother. Renesmee, look at the life we had together. What mother and daughter on this planet do you know have had a life like we have?" She smiled, "That's true. I mean, we've travelled this world together and have a lot of fun together. But Momma, I still think…." I cupped my hand over her mouth, "Don't honey."

She sighed, "Fine, but as for Edward, he _should_ have been there." I sniffed, "It doesn't matter anymore." She stared at me, "How can you say that?!" She stood up, "Momma, it does matter. He should have been there to protect you." I sighed, "If he was there, then I wouldn't have you." She threw her arms up in exasperation, "Regardless. They should have been there when you were all alone." I sighed, "Ness, it doesn't matter anymore. I handled it by myself, making me stronger for it." She glared at me, "Why are you taking up for them? They abandon you when that Victoria was hunting you. Where the hell were they when you were almost killed by Laurent? I am more than sure in the years we were travelling, they came back to Forks. Did they bother to look you up, to at least see what you're doing? I know what happened to you and your abrupt leaving was the talk of the town, so they must have gotten wind of that? Now, they're back, being all friendly with us. What, are they doing it out of guilt? And you actually named me after Carlisle and Esme." I jumped up from the couch, "Stop right there. Carlisle, Esme and the others have nothing to do with this. What is going on is between me and Edward, do you understand me?" She nodded. "Is still say they all have a hand in this," she muttered. I glared at her and she sighed. "Fine. Momma, I'm going to go see Jacob. I'll take my bike." I nodded, "Ok. See ya later." Renesmee dashed upstairs and was back, putting on her leather jacket. "Bye Momma," she called heading outside. "Bye honey."

It was about 4pm, when someone knocked on my front door. "Coming," I called. I opened the door to my best friend, Jacob. "Hey Bells." "Hey Jake, what are you doing here?" I kissed my cheek, "I need a reason to visit." I giggled and looked behind him, he was alone. "Where's Renesmee?" I asked, closing the door. He looked back at me, "I was about to ask you the same question." My eyebrows furrowed, "She left here, saying she's was going to see you." We stared at each other, "Where could she be?" I thought about that, "Oh no!!" "What? Is she in trouble?" Jacob asked, his voice thick with concern. I looked up at Jacob, "No, but she will be."


	14. Pain

Chapter 14 – Pain

As I got on my bike, I felt guilty lying to my mother; but I need to know the whole story, including each side of it. I know she said to not blame the Cullen's for what happened to her and why she was left alone. I would listen to them and try to keep an open mind, but Edward would hear everything I thought. I flew away on my bike to the big house in the forest. Even though I hadn't seen the house in over a century and I was still a baby, my memory of how to get there was still just as clear. I pulled into the 3-mile long drive way and the trees opened and I saw the house. The house I was born in and was my first home. I got off my bike and I heard the front door open, "Hi Renesmee," it was Alice. I smiled, "Alice, is everyone home?" Her smile flattered as she took in my face, "Yes?" "Good, because I need to talk to all of you. May I come in?" She held open the door and I walked into the large living room, facing the family that turned their backs on my mother.

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I laid on my couch, playing her lullaby and thinking about the egregious mistake I made today. I heard the bike over the music. I flashed down the stairs, "What is she doing here?" Alice looked up at me, "Who?" I looked to the front door, "Renesmee." Alice grimaced; _This is going to be ugly_. Alice went to answer the door and I called everyone to the living room. As Renesmee stepped inside, she stared at all of us. Alice guided her to the couch, "Is something wrong?" she played coy. Renesmee sighed, "My mother told me everything." She looked around the room, "She told me about her relationship with Edward, James, her birthday party, Jasper and your leaving." She looked to Carlisle, "She told me Edward's reasons for leaving, but what I want to know is your reasons for why you left. You've seen what happen to her after you left, so I want to know why you left my mom alone?" Carlisle sighed, "Renesmee, this wasn't an easy decision. Not all of us were for our leaving."

_Save it and tell me the damn truth_. I cleared my throat, "Carlisle, let me." I looked to her, "Renesmee, it was me. I saw what was happening to your mother when she was in close proximity of our world as a human, and it was too dangerous for her. After what happened at her birthday party, that was the final straw. I couldn't keep putting her life in danger. She told you about James, did she say why he came after her?" She shook her head, "She just said you saved her from him." Esme patted my shoulder, _Let it out. She deserves to know the truth about her own mother_. I patted her hand, "Bella came to watch us play baseball and Carlisle warned me that there were nomads in the area. They heard us playing and came to the clearing. James caught Bella's scent and he was intrigued by why our family was protecting her, that's why." She nodded and bit her lip, "So, instead of letting her make her own decisions on what she wanted, you took the decision into your hands, am I right?"

Just like Bella, perceptive. "In a sense. What Bella wanted was too dangerous for her." She glowered at me, looking just like Bella when she was mad, "Huh? Well, obviously your absence didn't do a damn thing. Did she tell you Victoria hunted her for revenge? Did you know Laurent almost killed her in a meadow when she was hiking?" Emmett huffed, "Laurent came after her?" "Yes," anger staining her voice, "he was searching for Momma for Victoria. If Jacob didn't find her that day, she would have died." She looked around the room and I heard all the guilt in their voices. _Why did we listen to Edward?_ Alice thought. _This is all my fault. If I wasn't weak that night_, Jasper winced at the memory. _She was a danger magnet. Renesmee is right, we shouldn't have left_, Emmett thought. I sighed, Renesmee's mind was the hardest to handle, _I hope they all suffer for what they did to her. None of them deserve her. Neither do I for that matter_. "Renesmee, why would you think that? If anything, you should be happy. Yes, because we left her alone, she had you." "Because it's true. I don't deserve my mom anymore than you do," she spat at me. I didn't disagree with her. I don't deserve my angel back in my life, I should jut wallow in hell. "I am half of that monster that stole her life. Yes, she says I was the best thing that ever happened to her, but I don't see that. As far as I'm concerned, if I wasn't born, my mom would have gotten over what happened to her, she would have graduated and had a real family. She would have been human and maybe, me too."

This was a complete shock, she wanted the same thing for Bella that I did. "Renesmee, who could you think that?" Rosalie asked. "I've seen you two together. You're more like sisters than mother and daughter." She smiled, "I feel that way too, but still, I ruined her life. Truly, I shouldn't exist." Esme gasped and went to hug Renesmee, "Sweetheart, you should never say that. It would pain Bella to hear you say that." She stepped away from Esme and looked at all of us, "Maybe so, but still, where the _hell_ were all of you? She was here, alone and in pain. You saw it, how could you deal with that? She thought you loved her. I guess she was wrong." Carlisle was trying to calm Renesmee down, but I heard something. Speaking of Bella, I could hear her. She was coming up the drive and fast.

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I saw her motorcycle outside of her house and I caught her scent as I came here. This was unbelievable. She was bold as brass coming here. I picked her voice as I entered the driveway, "She thought you loved her. I guess she was wrong." I flahed up the porch and banged on the front door. I was too mad to feel any pain for being back here. Rosalie opened the door. "Is she here?" I asked through my teeth. Rosalie gestured for me to enter and I saw her. Her back was to me and everyone looked at me. I could see on their faces they were upset. "Renesmee Carlie Swan, how dare you?" She whirled and faced me in disbelief, "What? I came here to find out the entire truth. I wanted to know everything." "I told you to let it go. That they were not involved in what is going on with me. And then you lie to my face and you came here. What the hell was in your head?" She sighed, "Momma, I just wanted to know their side of the story." I raised an eyebrow, "Really? Why is that?" Her eyes fell to the floor, "I wanted to know their reasons for why they left."

I folded my arms, "And what did you find out?" I asked in a patronizing voice. She didn't speak, "Fascinating. That much, huh?" She glared up at me, "Well, if you weren't so damn secretive, then I wouldn't have to find anyway of finding out more information about my mother," she snapped at me. My eyes widened, "Go home. We are discussing this later." Renesmee stood her ground, "No." My chest tightened, "I am not going to say it again. Let's go." Renesmee folded her arms, "No. I have every right." My eyes tightened, my breathing ceased and I flashed across the room and stood right in her face. I heard the others gasp as I stared at her, "You had no right what so ever. GET OUT OF HERE NOW!!!!"

Her lips trembled and tears welled in her eyes. She flashed out of the room and ran through the forest. I hadn't moved an inch and everyone watched my. What had I done? I closed my eyes and felt a sob building in my chest. My breath staggered out between my teeth, I wanted to die. Someone flashed in front of me and wrapped their arms around me. I recognized the scent, it was Esme. I buried my face in her shoulder and cried. She didn't speak. I felt other hands on my shoulder, "Sit down," Alice suggested. I let them lower me onto a couch. I sobbed into Esme's shoulder. "Jasper, Emmett, could you go check on Renesmee?" Carlisle asked. "No," I spoke up in a broken voice. "Leave her alone. More than likely, she'll go see Jacob." I faced Carlisle, "She just needs to be left alone for now." My face fell into my hands, "What kind of mother am I? I kept the truth of my past from her because I didn't want to burden her with my pain. As she got older, if I told her, I knew she would take it upon herself to make it right." I shook my head, "It was just a matter of time." I wanted to rip out my hair, just so I could ignore the emotional pain I just inflected on my daughter. The only person left in the world who truly loved me.


	15. Finished

Chapter 15 – Finished

I wanted ran through the woods and just die. How could I hurt her? She was the most important person in my life. I was in Alice's room, gazing out of the glass wall. The moon was high and it lit up the entire river. It was so ironic. The last time I was in this room, I felt completely alone, even though I had Renesmee growing inside of me. But now, I've hurt Renesmee and I didn't know if she was going to forgive me. If anything, I did this to myself, trying to hide the truth from her and she was a very inquisitive person; just like me. Like Renee, she wouldn't take "no" for an answer, or if she did, not for long. I looked out at the river and I wished how I could just drown myself, just to escape my pain. This pain punched another hole in me. I was barely a whole person before this happened and now, I could just die.

I heard the family talking downstairs, they were concerned about me. Alice was trying to find Renesmee. She wasn't home and Jacob hadn't seen her. Jacob said he would have his pack look for her. Someone came up the stairs and knocked on the door, "Bella?" I shook my head, now was not the time. "Come in." It was Edward, "Bella, are you alright?" I looked up at him, "What do you think? I've just damaged my daughter. I just," a sob was building, "I just keep hurting everyone around me. First Jacob, then my parents and now," my breath staggered, "Renesmee, that last person in my life." I broke out into a tearless sob, "I should just leave Renesmee here with Jacob, leave and never come back. She'd be better off without me." Edward reached out for me, but I flinched back, "Not now." He sighed, "I'll say this; she blamed herself for what happened to you. She took everything on herself; she gets it from you."

I chuckled once, "That and being stubborn." He laughed, "I see that too. But, Bella, Renesmee wants you in her life. You belong together, she's your daughter. How could you think of separating yourself from her?" I looked up at him, "Because I'll just keep hurting her." "Bella, you love her and she loves you too, how could you think that?" I looked straight into his eyes, "You're right. You're absolutely right. I should leave that decision to her. She's more than capable of making up her mind of if she wants me in her life. I want to do what's best for her and I should let her have a say in it." Edward's eyes fell to the floor, "I'm glad to hear it." We didn't speak for a long time. He knew what this scenario reminded him of.

I looked back out the glass, when Edward gasped and flashed to the door, "Bella, Alice found Renesmee. Come quick." I jumped up and we flew down the stairs. Alice was drawing something she saw in her vision. "She's in the meadow; the one Edward always goes to. But she's not alone." I saw the face she was drawing. I knew that name, but Renesmee may not. My eyes widened. I gasped, almost hyperventilating, "NO!" I flew to the door, throwing it open. "Bella, who is he?" Emmett asked. I looked back at them, "Her father." I ran into the night, hoping to get to Renesmee in time.

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I sat in the small circular meadow, crying. I made such a mess of things. My mother was mad at me. She's never yelled at me before, at least not like she did today. Maybe I shouldn't have meddled in her past. She said in didn't matter anymore, I _had_ to find out more. Tears flooded my eyes, streaming down my face. I wrapped my arms around my legs and I buried my face in my knees. Momma is never going to forgive me. It seemed like hours I was in the meadow, crying, when I heard someone coming. They were coming up fast, so I knew it wasn't human. I looked up toward the direction of the visitor. Finally, the man stepped through the meadow. His eyes were black as night and his hair matched it. I've seen this man, in my mom's memories, when she showed it to the Cullen's. "Hello," he spoke to me.

I flew to my feet, readying myself. "What are you?" he sniffed the air, "I could smell the blood in your body, but I also smell that you're a vampire." He stepped out of the shadows and looked at my face. I tilted his head to the side, "Bella?" I shook my head, "No, but I get that a lot." He looked over my entire body, "You look just like her, except….." I sneered, "Except my hair. It's black, like my father's." His eyes widened, "Your what?" He stepped toward me and I stepped back, "Stay away from me, Stephan!" He circled me, walking along the edges of the meadow, "How did you know my name?" I watched him, "Stephan Johnson; that was the name of the man who attacked my mother when she was 19 years old." He stopped, "Your mother? What was her name?" "You know her name, you just called me that." He closed his eyes for a moment and was silent. Then he looked up at me, straight into my own, "Dark brown eyes, almost like chocolate." My jaw tightened, "I get them from her."

Surprisingly, Stephan smiled, "So, she survived?" He chuckled, "She was so sweet. Too bad I never tasted her." A roar burst through my lips, "DON'T YOU TALK ABOUT HER, YOU MONSTER!!!!" His head snapped around, "Well, don't we have a temper. I guess you are my daughter." I leaned into a crouch, "I am NOT!!! You stole my mother's life." "Please, she was just some little human, in the right place at the wrong time. Her blood would have been magnificent. You smell very close to that, but it's clouded by your vampire traits." I was almost to my limit; I couldn't take this animal talking about my mother. I've secretly dreamt of this moment, I wanted to rip him apart. "Well, too bad. She would have been delicious. I must visit her. Where is she buried?" I coiled and sprang at him, kicking him full on in the chest.

He sprang to his feet and pinned my arms behind me, "We have some fight in us, don't we, my child?" I roared into the air, "Never call me that!!" He inhaled deep at my neck, "Very much like her." I broke out of his hold, punching him in the face. I spun away from him. He snarled, leapt into the air and had me pinned on the ground, "You're feisty, just like she was. And beautiful like her, but you shouldn't attack your father. Like your mother, you're weaker than me. But I could change that, make you a full vampire." He held out my wrist, away from my body. He was going to bite me. NO!! I can't be a full vampire. Then I couldn't be with Jacob.

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I was close to the meadow. I heard others behind me, but I was too determined to look back. I heard their fight and I sprinted ahead faster. She was trying to fight him, what was she thinking? She was no match for him. "But I could change that, make you a full vampire." He was going to bite her. NOOOOO!!!! I sprinted through the bushes, he had her pinned to the ground, just like that night. I ran over and caught him by his neck, "Why don't you pick on somebody your own size?!" and I threw him across the opening. Renesmee sat up, her eyes began to well as she was it was me, "Sweetie, are you alright?" She cried and clutched her arms around my chest, "Momma!" She sobbed in my chest. I looked up and Stephan sprang to his feet. "Get out of here," I ordered Renesmee and I went to face my personal demon. "Hello Stephan." He saw my face and laughed, "Look who's a vampire now. This is amazing. I thought you were dead."

I glared, "You wish. You hurt me, but you didn't destroy me." He laughed again, "Well, I see she gets the temper from you. I thought it was from me." He looked at Renesmee, then back to me, "I have to admit, we made a beautiful child together. Though, I was just thirsty. I didn't know I getting you pregnant. Oh, well, now we can be a family," he chuckled darkly at his own words. He opened his arms to me, "Bella, dear." I smiled and stepped forward, looking as if I was going to embrace him, but I grabbed his arm, swiftly, I threw him to the other side of the meadow. Renesmee ducked out of the way and came to stand at my side. Stephan snarled and leapt towards us. We ran out of his way, "You two are so disrespectful. If it weren't for me, Bella, you wouldn't even have her." Renesmee and I looked at each other, "You have a lot of nerve thinking that?" she spoke up before I could, "Yes, you got her pregnant, but you weren't there when I was born. You were going to kill her." Stephan glared at her, "Do not talk to me like that. I am your father."

I saw the skin in her neck tighten. I stretched my arm across her body, "If you never came here tonight, you would have never known. So, don't think, for one minute you have claim on her. She is _my_ daughter, 100% You are nothing to her." Stephan leapt into the air, about to pounce Renesmee. I stepped in her way, shielding her. Stephan landed on top of me, "Just like old times, right, Bella?" I glared at him, "Right, except I can do this." I flipped him off me and pinned him on the ground. I heard a faint chuckle from behind me, the Cullen's were watching. Renesmee and I glared down at him. He was weaker because he hadn't fed. Though he was weak, he was fast. He got his arm free and I pushed me away. Then I pulled Renesmee's arm and used her as a body shield. "Let me go!!" she screamed. He tightened his hold on her arm and she cried out in pain. "She's weak, Bella. What kind of mother are you?" He pushed her to the ground and held her down with his foot.

Several snarls came out of the bushes around the meadow. Like a blur, Edward and Emmett flew into the meadow, pulling him off Renesmee. Rosalie and Esme flew to her side and carried her back to me. As I wrapped my arms around her, a russet wolf jumped into the center of the circle, his teeth bared at Stephan, taking a protective stance in front of Renesmee and me. Rosalie and Esme stood back from the wolf, though they knew it was Jacob. "Rosalie, Esme, get her home." Renesmee didn't release her hold on me, "No." I patted her cheek, "It's alright. Jacob, could you go with her?" He shook his massive head. Edward spoke for him, "He doesn't want to leave. He wants to help rip Stephan apart. He's mad because he wasn't there for you, so he's not letting this go by." Renesmee gasp, "Jake, Momma, please." Both of us look back to her. Jacob nodded to Esme, indicating for her to take Renesmee home. "Renesmee, it's over. Go, I will see you at home." I nodded to Rosalie and Esme; they took Renesmee and ran into the night.

I turned back to Stephan, who was still being held by Edward and Emmett. I walked toward them, with Jacob at my side. Stephan cringed back from the massive wolf. I smiled, "Wow, my attacker is afraid of a wolf." I saw Jacob roll his eye at me. I looked towards Emmett and Edward, "Let him go, so I can finish this." Edward and Emmett looked at each, "Are you sure?" Edward asked. I nodded, "Yes. I've waited for this moment for more than a century." Emmett smiled, "This oughta be good." They threw Stephan to the ground and stepped back. "Edward, let's start the fire," Emmett beamed. Edward smiled and sprinted away, coming back with dry twigs. I clutched Stephan by the back of his head, with a fistful of his hair, "In a strange way, I must thank you. I hate to admit it, but I must. You gave me a wonderful daughter, and mercifully, she becomes more and more like me everyday."

Jacob barked a laughed and Edward spoke for him, "He agrees with you. He sees a lot of you in Renesmee." Stephan glared at Jacob, "How can you be so close to him and he not attack?" "He's my best friend and Renesmee's boyfriend. And, at the time you met me, he was my boyfriend. But that's none of your concern." I released him and stepped back, "Let's just end this." Stephan looked around and stood to his feet. Edward glared at him, "Don't bother trying to run. There are too many of us for you to escape." I smiled, "But it would be cute if you tried." Stephan snarled, then leapt into the air, coming at me again. I stood my ground and watched, "Jacob?" Jacob leapt up on his hind legs and caught Stephan's torso. I caught his leg and we pulled in the opposite directions. The meadow filled with his scream, as Jacob dropped him to the ground. I tossed Stephan's leg to Emmett, who threw it into the flames. Stephan started cursing at me in a foreign language. I stepped toward him and slapped him, "Don't you talk to me like that." He tried to throw himself at me and Jacob stepped on his chest, snarling. I patted Jacob's massive shoulder, "Finish him for me."

I turned and walked away to stand by the fire. Emmett hugged me, "Feeling better?" I shrugged, "I will when I see Renesmee. I just want to know that she's alright." Emmett kept his arm around me as we watch Jacob rip apart Stephan's body. When he was done, he had the torso in his mouth. He dropped it at my feet. "He wants you to burn it," Edward translated. I smiled and patted Jacob's head, "Good boy." He playfully snapped at me. I took the torso and threw it into the flames. As the body burned, my eye caught something pale in the middle of the meadow. I patted Emmett's chest and went to see what it was. I saw it was one of Stephan's fingers. I took it, but I didn't burn it. I saw the three of them staring at me. "Let's go. I want to see Renesmee."


	16. Walls

Chapter 16 – Walls

The four of us ran back to my house. As we got closer, Jacob phased back. I sprinted through the front door, to find Rosalie pacing. Esme was sitting on the couch and Renesmee wasn't in sight. Rosalie flew into Emmett's arms. Emmett punched me in the arm, Rosalie smiled and they dashed off into the night. Esme looked back and Renesmee sat up; she was leaning her head in Esme's lap. "Momma!" she jumped over the couch and hugged me. I hugged her tightly, kissing her hair. Edward walked past us and I patted his arm. "Thank you," I mouthed and he smiled back. Renesmee looked up and saw Jacob. She patted my neck; I saw she wanted to go to him. I smiled and let her go. As they embraced, I went into the living room. "Thank you, Esme." She held out her arms and I fell onto the couch and hugged her, "Are you alright?" I chuckled once, "Yea. It's always relaxing ripping apart your attacker." Alice flew into the house, "Renesmee, are you alright?" They hugged, "I'm sorry, I couldn't see anything sooner." Renesmee looked at me, "It's fine, Alice. He just made me so angry."

Alice and Renesmee discussed what happened before I arrived, while I spoke with Esme. "Bella, dear, are you two going to be alright? This must not have been easy for you." I scoffed, "It was actually a lot easier than you think." She scoffed, "Bella, you don't have to do that. Act like nothing bothers you. Bella, it's alright." I sighed, "Esme, really, I'm fine." "Momma." "Bella," Alice and Renesmee spoke together. I groaned, "Did I just lapse into Arabic, if so, you'd still understand me, but I'll say it again, I'm alright," I said smiling. Alice sighed and Renesmee shook her head, "I'm going to bed." She held out her hand for Jacob and he wrapped his arms around her as they ascended the stairs. Alice looked back at me, "He spends the night here?" she whispered. I laughed, "I'd be a hypocrite if I was against it. Besides, she's over 100 years old." Esme's eyes widened, "But Bella….?" I shook my head, "Esme, the first time I slept with a guy in my room, I was seventeen." All eyes fell on Edward, who laughed.

Alice sat on the other side of me on the couch, while Edward stood by the mantle. "Bella, are you going to be alright, seriously? We could stay," Esme offered. Alice beamed, "Of course, that would be fun." I smiled weakly, "Not tonight." Alice pouted, "Fine. Still difficult," and she bounded out of the room. I shook my head, "Still irritating," I called after her. Esme stood and patted Edward's arm, "Bella, if you need us…." I smiled, "I know, Esme." She kissed my forehead and went for the front door. Edward hadn't move. I was looking away from him, "You don't have to stay." I heard him move to stand in front of me. He crouched down and took my hands, "Bella?" I looked back to face him, "Yes?" We stared at each other, "I'm not going to leave. I can see it in your eyes, tonight was not as easy as you make it." My eyebrow furrowed, "Maybe so. But I'll get through it." He didn't release my hands, "But you don't have to do it alone." I dropped my head and bit my lip, trying to hold back. Inhaling, I looked up at him, "I know and I appreciate it. But…" "But nothing. Bella, you are not alone in this world, not anymore." My resolve was starting to break, "Good night, Edward."

He stood, without speaking and went for the front door. I followed, seeing him out. He lingered at the door, but turned to face me. "Can I just ask for one thing?" he requested. I nodded. Moving so fast, he wrapped his arms around me. Robotically, I wrapped my arms around him and I felt him kiss my hair. Then he released me and ran into the night.

At school, I acted as objectively as I had before the Cullen's arrival, but on the trips I sponsored, I allowed some leeway of fun. On the paintball trip, the students were glad to see that I was participating in the day's activity. Of course, Rosalie, Renesmee and I used this occasion to our advantage, wearing skintight tank tops and form fitting jeans. This distracted the boys a lot, causing some of them to trip as they got off the bus. The three of us laughed quietly. Above everyone, Emmett was the most excited about today. When everyone got their equipment and separated into teams, Renesmee, the Cullen's and myself played together. Jasper and Emmett's main target was me, trying to measure how much I'd learn in my new life. They threatened Edward that if he tried to protect me, he was next. "Excuse me; the only one who's going to need protection is you two." After sending the human students home on the bus, the real games began. Taking off our protective gear and using our own equipment, which was more powerful than the rented ones, we ran to their baseball clearing, shooting at each other in the woods. Emmett decided to put us on teams, "Cullens versus Swans," he declared. Rosalie was shocked, "Sounds unfair." Renesmee and I smiled at each other, "Sounds like fun," we said together.

Renesmee and I sprinted through the treetops. Renesmee stayed close to me, so that Alice could not see what we were playing. However, Edward was still able to see what we were doing, by reading Renesmee's mind. I put my shield over her, knowing that it blocked out mental attacks. I noticed his bewildered face as we ran through the trees, giving us an upper hand. Soon, Esme and Carlisle joined us, making it seven against two. Living in the jungle, Renesmee and I learned to silence our moves even to vampire ears. Running through the dark, in the trees, we resorted back to our habits of being in the jungle. We played all night long, losing to the Cullens. We conceited because Renesmee was getting exhausted. She stayed home will the rest of us went to school. On the morning of the Cherry Blossom Festival, I packed picnic baskets and waited for the students to arrive. The Cullen's were the first to arrive; again, no surprise about that. It was a cool day, but still cloudy. Alice saw the weather was perfect for vampires to go to the festival.

When the other students arrived, they all came together in their own car. Alice, Rosalie and Renesmee drove with me, while, Edward, Emmett and Jasper drove Edward's car and the human students followed in their car. I had to maintain a human speed, so the others could keep up. Emmett drove Edward's car and he flew down the highway. I sighed deeply, "I am can't wait to have a wrestling match with him. I've been holding this in since I was human." Rosalie laughed, "He wants to fight you too. He wants to see how you would match up to him." We talked the entire ride, all of us completely impatient about the human driving speed. At the festival, Edward, Emmett and Jasper already had set out several large blankets on the ground. To our surprise, they were speaking with Jacob, who beamed when he saw Renesmee. They went off on their own, same as Alice & Jasper, Emmett & Rosalie and the other human students. I walked under the cherry blossoms, completely lost in the colors of the petals. Though I was lost in my mind, I was not unaware of someone walking behind me.

"Edward, my senses are as good as yours. And, honestly, maybe better." I turned and no one was there. _Ok, can a vampire lose their mind?_ I thought to myself. I turned and jumped back. Edward was dangling from a branch in front of me, "Just as good, maybe. Better, definitely not." He chuckled and jumped to the ground. I stared at him and laughed, "Maybe, I'm losing my jungle edge. Maybe after here, I should move back there." I smiled and looked up into treetops. Some petals began to fall and I caught one in my palm. "Are you enjoying the Festival?" I looked up at him, "Yes. Renesmee and I found out about it last year. We went to several when we lived out east. Actually," I looked around us making sure no one was around, "we collect several petals for the house." I sprinted further into the trees, Edward following close behind. I kicked off my shoes and jumped into the treetops. Edward stood at the base of my tree and watched as I rapidly picked petals. I placed them into my backpack and leapt to the ground.

He chuckled and reached for my hair. "That must have been fun," he stated as he picked a petal out of my hair. I smiled, this was becoming too familiar. I sighed and looked down to the ground. "Bella?" I bit my lip, "Umm, I better get going. I need to find the other students." I turned and walked away to the picnic sight. As I approached, I saw Renesmee and Jacob leaning against a tree, her in the circle of his arms. A pang of jealousy twinge inside of me. If I would allow myself, I could have that again. I can't. He'll hurt me again, I can't risk that. I saw how happy my daughter was with Jacob and the way he watched her, with so much adoration in his eyes. I remember when he used to look at me like that. _I will again, if you let me_. _It's too risky_, I answered back. _Bella, life is a risk, but you must take risks to get what you want_. I shook my head; the pain would be too great. I noticed Alice & Jasper leaning underneath their own tree, Rosalie & Emmett walking hand in hand. Even Carlisle & Esme showed up and their heads were close together, smiling. I know, before him, I never noticed this kind of thing, but now that I have sampled it, I ached for it. But I've been through the pain of losing love and I refuse to go through it again.


	17. Trying

Chapter 17 – Trying

It's been a month since the festival and Edward had maintained a respectable distance. He and I do talk, but nothing intimate, we mostly kept it light. At school, Renesmee was getting closer to the Cullen's, building her own relationship. I knew I couldn't stop her and I didn't try to stop her. She wanted to make up for that night she find out their truth. Alice has even taken to going dancing with Renesmee and me. "Honey, you should now, the Bella I knew didn't know how to dance." I grimaced, while they laughed, "And she hated to go shopping." I stopped in front of the mouth of her driveway, "Good night, Alice!!!" She stuck her tongue at me, "Why don't you two coming in? Emmett wanted to see Ness." Renesmee beamed, "Please can we?" "You can go, of course." I didn't feel like walking on eggshells this evening. Renesmee's smile faltered, "Momma, please. All you do spend your evenings at home, alone. You need to be around people." Alice closed her eyes, "Bella, you're coming, I've seen it. So, let's go. Besides, someone really needs to fight Emmett." I sighed and drove down the driveway.

In the front yard, Carlisle and Jasper were fighting and Emmett, Esme, Edward and Rosalie were watching from the trees. "Finally, now we can settle this," Emmett bellowed as I go out of the car. I was wearing a red halter top with a beaded collar, black leather capris and heeled sandals. I shook my head, "Emmett, do you really want to do this? I don't want to embarrass you." He leapt off the porch, "Let's go." I sighed and gave Renesmee my shoes, "This will be quick," I whispered to her and she giggled. She looked to Jasper, "$1000 on my mom." He nodded and folded his arms. Emmett crouched down in front of me and I laughed, "Emmett, you're almost 200. Come on now," I goaded. He leapt into the air and I danced out of the way. I charged me, catching me in a headlock. My hands clutched at his massive arm, which was around my neck, "Come on, Bella." I winked at Renesmee, who was sitting with Edward. I threw my legs into the air, kicking him in the head and I flipped to the ground, landing on all fours, like a cat. I circled him, getting to my feet. He charged me again, and I caught him by his torso, slamming his head into the ground, pinning him there. I hadn't release me as he tried to fight out of my grip. His arms slammed into my stomach and I jumped back, releasing him. He flashed across the field, gripping my neck, throwing me to the ground. I sprang up, walking backwards, face up on my hands and feet, back flipping into a defensive stance. "What was that?" he asked. "Did I mention Renesmee and I mastered capoeria will we lived in the jungle and practice it everyday."

His eyes widened and looked at Renesmee; she winked at him. While he was distracted, I got my legs around his neck, tumbling to the ground. I reached back and held his feet together over my shoulder. We were tangled on the ground, "give up, Em?" He struggled to get out of my hold. His strength was impressive; I could barely hold on but I didn't give up. I elbowed him in the back and jumped up. I held up one hand, taunting him to try again with my index finger. He glowered and charge. I fell to the ground, caught myself with one hand on the ground, throwing my legs into the air and caught the side of his head with my shin. He staggered back, holding his head. I flipped back to my feet, waiting for the next attack. He eyed me over and strode off into the garage. "Is that it?" I called, "Wow, that wasn't much." I roared came out of the garage and I laughed. Renesmee bounded off the stairs and leapt onto my back, with her palm out towards Jasper. He paid her and she gave me half. She leaned her head against mine, "That was fun to watch." Esme smiled, "Hardly anyone beats Emmett." I nodded, "I think he held back, because I'm a woman."

Renesmee didn't let Emmett live down the fight, until I stepped in. "Sweetie, enough. Leave him alone, ok?" She nodded, "Fine. Ruin my fun." We were at school and the school year was almost over. In class, I walked in, greeted the class and began the lesson. "Ok, now, who feels ready for this final?" Six hands immediately went up, followed by several others. I huffed, "Ok, but I have an end of year surprise for all of you," I winked at Alice, "I went over my grade book last night and it seems that out of all my classes, this is one can be, if they should so choose, exempt from the final." Cheers broke out and I silenced them. "Ok, ok. You guys should be proud of yourselves," I walked through the aisles, "but, since I don't want you guys to lose your edge," I leaned against the counter in the back of the room, "pop quiz." I dictated equations and waited for them to solve them. "After the quiz is done…. You guys know the drill." I waked off the front of the class. As always, Renesmee and the Cullen's were done first and they had perfect scores. After another ten minutes, the rest of the class was done with their exams. I checked them and distributed them, "Alright so, so far, no one in this room has below and 85 average, so B's or better for everyone. Enjoy your summer and for some of you, enjoy college." The class broke into conversations and the Cullen's and Renesmee came to my desk. I looked up, "Yes?"

Emmett's smile was smug, "Thunderstorm tomorrow." I sighed, "Emmett, I don't know." I looked up and Renesmee looked at me with wide eyes. I caved, "Fine." The bell rang and the class cleared out. "Bella, do you mind if I go with you?" Alice asked. I nodded, "Sure." Renesmee, Alice and I ran into the forest by the schools, going to hunt. Alice and Renesmee made it a competition and I waited as they finished. I heard the others coming up, so I finished up my prey and sat in the high branches of a tree. Jasper sniffed the air and looked up, "Hey Bella." "Hey Jaz." He went ahead and hunted with the others, following Alice and Renesmee's trails. Looked down to see Edward climbing the tree. I had to admit, he was being persistent. _Bella, please, open up to me_. Edward perched in front of me, "Are you alright?" I nodded, "Yes, I was just waiting for them to finish up, but from what it looks like, they plan on staying here for the rest of the day." He smiled, "Maybe, Renesmee seems to have a competitive side." I giggled, "You notice that. When she was little, she would try to compete with me to swim across the river faster. First few times, I let her win, but she caught on." He laughed, "Then what happened?" I shrugged, "She started swimming every day and now, she can out swim a mermaid, not that we ever found one."

I looked into the forest, "Aren't you going to hunt?" He shook his head, "I didn't feel like sitting at the table alone." I nodded and leaned my head against the tree. My mind forgot he was there, but my body recognized his presence. "What are you thinking?" I looked at him, "You still want to know, after all this time." He smiled, "I will always be fascinated by your mind." I tilted my head to the side, "Ok." I pushed my shield away and showed him what was on my mind. My mind was on several things, but I kept one corner of it secluded from him, the corner which held my hallucination. I showed him my concern about my students, my worries about Renesmee and her leaving me and what the future would hold for me when she married Jacob. I closed my eyes and lowered my head, still showing him my concerns. A finger tilted my head up to face him, "Bella, she will never leave you." I nodded, "I know, but I can't keep her. She's found love and she should stay with him." His thumb stroked my cheek, setting it ablaze, "Renesmee will go wherever you go and he will go with her." I frowned, "I can't do that to Jacob and his pack. They need him here and he needs Renesmee. This is every mother's dread, letting her daughter go, but I'll have to do it soon."

"And you think you'll be all alone after that?" I shrugged, "What else is there?" He sighed, "Bella…." I leaned forward and patted his hand, "Edward, don't." "Bel…" I placed my hand over his mouth and shook my hand. He kept my hand there and kissed it, "We won't leave you alone. Not again." We heard the others coming, "Come on, Edward, we're going to play football," Rosalie called. He released my hand and leapt out of the tree and ran with his sister. I watched after them, leapt out of the tree and walked back to the school. _You heard what I said. Please, Bella, just give me one more chance. That's all I ask_. I wanted to, so much, but how can I believe him. Literally, only time would tell; and I had plenty of that.


	18. Breaking

Chapter 18 – Breaking

Renesmee was out with Jacob and I was home alone. The fire crackled in the fireplace and I watched the flames dance while lying on the couch. I was close to doing something I did not like doing, even now, after all these years. I was taking stock of my life. My daughter was over 100 years old and she would be leaving soon. I only had three more years in Forks and I may be traveling alone. I would not uproot Renesmee from her life here. I would go, but discuss it with her first. I would not make his mistake. I had another option, if I were brave enough to take it. _Bella_. I sat up, running my fingers through my hair. I looked to the china cabinet. In it, was my life's story and memories. I went to open it and took out a DVD. Loading it, I watched Renesmee and mine home videos. In the jungle, I stole several video cameras. On the screen, there was Renesmee as a baby, bounding into the air and landing on the branches, giggling wildly. "Watch this, Momma." "I am, honey." She flitted through the trees, flipping between the branches, making spins and landing on the ground.

On the video, I praised her, "Very good, bunny." She was my bunny; it was difficult at times to catch her when she ran. Huilen and Nahuel were on the videos, laughing and playing with Renesmee. I watched as Renesmee progressed on the home movies. At five years old, she was the size of a twelve year old. She was still a foot shorter than me. I turned off the movie. I was missing Renesmee when she was tiny and I didn't need a reminder. I took up one of my old journals and began reading my passages. At one point, I was writing poetry. One poem was called "All At Once."

All At Once

All at once, I am realizing that

You're not coming back

And it finally hit me, all at once

I counted my teardrops

And, at least, a million fell

All my dreams were shattered

Since I met you,

You were the only love I've know

And, try as I may, I can't forget you

I must face it all alone

I'm drifting on a lonely sea

Drowning in memories

With a hope of you returning to me

All at once

I wondered if you were with another love

In the arms of another

All at once

The smile that used to greet me

Brightens another's day

If I could, I'd cry at that thought

If only I was enough

All at once

I realize I wasn't

My lips trembled as I read. I remember how his words shattered my dreams of being with him for eternity. That was my dream, but only part of it came true. I have eternity, but I don't have him. _But he wants you. Dammit, open your heart to him_, I mentally yelled at myself. _What if he leaves me again?_ I combated. _That's a risk you'll have to take, but he said he loves you_. Another thought came to me, _When I met you, you changed me in a permanent way_, Edward's memory voice came to me. Being a vampire, I know changes are rare, but they are permanent. In all this time, Edward has loved me. Still thinking I was human, he must have assumed I died. While loving me, how did he deal with that? _I told you I love you, Bella. Believe me_. The voice pleaded. Believe him. _He loves you and you love him. Nothing is in your way. No one's stopping you but you_. I read through my journal, reading another passage;

It's been 50 years and I still cannot let him go. I am still stained by him, still full of my love for him. Though his love for me is no more; mine will never die. I may see him again, but I will _not_ bombard him with my want for him. If I do ever see him again, I hope we can be friends. Friends and nothing else. Some nights, when I lay with Renesmee, I dream to myself wishing I was enough for him. If only I was a vampire when we met. Then again, no. No matter how much I love him, I would never trade my daughter for him. If I was given the chose, I would chose Renesmee over him. With Renesmee I have someone I love and she will always love me. He was my past, but she will always be apart of my future.

That was true. But, if I allowed myself, Edward could be part of my future. I came across another one of my poems. I wrote the original and a revision with my hallucination adding its words.

How Could an Angel Break My Heart?

He once wrote me a lullaby

But he took it away

Thought I would die,

Because that lullaby was mine

He sings it to another

And sealed it with a kiss

That is so hard to believe,

Because his kiss belonged to me

How could an angel break my heart?

Why didn't he catch me when I fell?

Why did I wish so hard?

How could an angel break my heart?

Her face must be as white as snow

Your face is whiter

Soft as a rose in May

You are softer

He keeps her picture in a frame

I only keep your picture

When he's alone, he calls her name

I only call your name

I wonder if she makes him smile

She doesn't make me smile

The way he used to smile at me

I only smile at you

I hope she doesn't make him laugh

She doesn't make me laugh

Because his laugh belongs to me

My laugh belongs to you

How could an angel break my heart?

Why didn't he catch me?

Why did I wish so hard?

Maybe I wished our love apart

How could an angel break my heart?

I feel like I'm dying

I'm trying to understand

Please help me

How could an angel break my heart?

He let me fall

I wished too hard

And wished our love apart

How could an angel break my heart?

Reading this, I began to cry. I heard Renesmee and Jacob coming back. I couldn't let them see me like this. I ran out the back door and into the forest. When I stopped, I realized I was standing in the same place where my heart shattered. I fell to my knees, crying a tearless sob. The venom welled in my eyes. A tear of venom formed and fell down my face. I caught it on my fingertip and looked at it. My teeth chattered and I crumpled to the ground, just like that day. The rain began to fall. I looked up to the sky. The drops that fell, as if they represented the tears I couldn't cry in the past century. The tears I wanted to shed for the one I loved and lost. There are millions of people who have experienced this; but I am one of the fortunate few whose love had returned.

He still means the world to me and, in part of my heart, he was my everything. "Momma," someone called out. I trembled on the ground. This was too similar. "Bella," another voice called. These voices sounded far away. I turned on my side and curled my arms around my legs and I closed my eyes. The voices went away. _Bella_. I opened my eyes and I saw him. My hallucination formed his face and body, kneeling next to me. I sat up and he was still there. He caressed my cheek with his imaginary hand, _Bella, get up and go home. They're worried about you_. I shook my head, _No, I want to stay here with you_. My hallucination kissed my forehead, _Bella, I am always with you. I will never leave you_. The rain fell down my face as tears, _I lost you once. I can't do it again_. A smile came across his hallucinatory face, _Then let me in_. His hand cupped my cheek, leaned closer to me. I closed my eyes, anticipating the feelings of his lips on mine. Not feeling anything, I opened my eyes. He was gone.

I cried harder, roaring into the air. _I KEEP LOSING HIM!!!! WHYYYYYY?!_ I crumpled back into the ground. My hands were over my eyes as I cried. Someone was approaching, but that did not make me stop. "Ness, I found her," a familiar voice called. Warm hands clasped my wrists, "Bella?" I let my hands fall and looked into Jacob's black eyes. "Momma," Renesmee called. She saw my face and gasped, "What happened?" I shook my head. They didn't speak. They helped me to my feet and we walked back to the house. I was covered in mud and leaves were in my hair. Jacob carried me to my room, while Renesmee started a shower. "Bells, what's the matter?" I looked at him, "Me." He tilted his head to the side. "Jake, let me get her in the shower." Renesmee guided me to the bathroom and undressed me. Just like me, taking care of her mess-of-a-mother. I hugged her, "Momma?" I shook my head, "Thanks for finding me." "What happened?" I exhaled, "Just painful memories. I'll be fine." She laughed once, "You always are." She left me and I showered all the dirt off my skin and out of my hair. After all the dirt was off, I stopped the tub and laid in the water. I watched as the water rippled above me.

I was tired, emotionally. I was tired of fighting against my feelings. Why did I even start? From when he told me he loved me, I should have gone to him. I should have stayed with him, where I belong. I will not finalize my decision, but I am getting closer to making it. First, I need to see him to be sure.


	19. Attempting

Chapter 19 – Attempting

I moved at a human pacing preparing for the last day of school. In my closet, I decided to dress up. I selected a black skirt, that fell just above my knees, a white blouse that tied on the left side of my waist, with a black camisole underneath. I wore black, knee boots, with silver chains. I pulled my hair up into a ponytail, letting my hair brush against the back of my shoulders. Renesmee was waiting for me and smiled approvingly at my outfit; "Very nice. Trying to send some seniors off with a good memory of you." I couldn't help laughing, "Maybe. Let's go." We mounted our bikes and went to the school. We pulled into our usual spots. I saw the principal staring at me as I got off, "Oh my goodness," I heard him whisper as he walked into another student. I smiled widely, until I heard the approach of the familiar car. Renesmee smiled and waved. I kept my eyes down, making myself look busy searching in my purse. I heard him gasp as he got out of the car. This is what I waited for. I looked up at him and smiled. Right then, Dante Smith walked past him, but Edward ignored him, his eyes looked on me.

I smiled and went to my office. Once inside, I exhaled deeply. I was on the precipice of making my decision. I just hoped Alice wouldn't ruin it for me. I sat at my desk, with my chin resting on my folded arms. _What are you waiting for? You've waited so long_, I argued with myself. I nodded, _True, but what's a few more hours_. I mentally groaned. When I had my mental debates, it was like I was arguing with a mirror. But in the mirror, it was my human self. I probed myself with the deep brown eyes that Edward loved so much. Sometimes the reflection would change and I would see Renesmee. When I saw her, I couldn't look at her. _She pleaded with me with her eyes, Tell me the truth. Let me help you_. I realized in a century of brooding; I never really let my own daughter in. That, up until recently, she never truly knew me. The thought of this made me feel sick. It felt like the venom inside my stomach as churning in disgust.

At my fourth hour class, I walked in silently, still in deep thought. Students were sitting on their desks talking. I looked around and five pairs of golden eyes and one pair of chocolate brown eyes were on me. I sat stone-faced, looking at my desk, with my arms crossed in of my chest. I looked around the room and saw the children signing yearbooks. Some brought me out of my concentration and I signed their books. Between signings, I twirled the pen in my fingers and twirled my ponytail. I was completely disgusted with myself. I tried so hard to be a good mother for Renesmee, shielding her from my pain, when I was actually shielding myself from letting her in. I clamped my hands together and leaned my forehead against them, looking down at my desk. I sighed, what was I going to do? Should I just embrace the family? Embrace their love and open myself up. The hole in my chest ached, anticipating this. I know if I embraced them, truly and completely, the hole will heal.

The bell rang and class ended. Everyone cleared out and some hugged me, "Bye, Ms. Platt." I smiled and waved, sending off my class. Renesmee came up to my desk, "Memories?" I nodded. She smiled, "I figured. I saw you were watching our videos from the jungle when I was a baby." I smiled, "You were so adorable." She chuckled, "We could go there this summer." I smiled and raised an eyebrow, "Maybe. Oh, that reminds me." I hopped off the desk, "Alice?" She danced up to my desk, "Yes?" I handed her an envelope. She opened it and took out the check, "It's the money I burrowed. I said I would pay you back." She smiled at me. She held the check in her hands and tore it, "It's on me." She held up her hand, knowing I was going to protest, "No Bella. I'm glad you took it. It actually makes me feel better that I was able to help you, in some small way while we were away." I smiled, "Fine. Fair enough." She folded her arms, "What's the matter?" I gawked at her. "Bella, I can read you like a book. You're future is in such flux." "Well, you just answered you own question."

At the end of the school day, I was in my office, clearing out my personal belongings. The box sat on the floor. I was sitting on my desk, my back to the door. Time ticked by, until someone knocked on my door. I didn't answer, so the door creaked open, "Bella?" I didn't answer him, I just remained unmoving. I felt his hand on my back, "Bella?" I blinked, "Yes?" I answered in a small voice. He was anxious, "Renesmee asked me to come find you. She's waiting for you outside." I turned my head to towards his voice; he was behind me, "Tell her to go with Alice. That I'll see her later." He sighed, "Bella, please. We're all worried about you? Would you please give me something more so I can ease their tension?" I stared ahead; I've made my decision.

We stood in my office in silence for a little while longer. He brushed the back of my shoulder, "Bella, please." I sighed, "I'm sorry. I keep causing discord in your family. You shouldn't worry about me." He sighed, "Bella, in this past century, I've done nothing but worry about you." I patted his hand on my shoulder, "I know. Part of me wish you hadn't." I leaned back and I was against his chest. He sighed and his breath blew against my cheek, "Bella…" He kissed my hair, "I just want to know that you're alright." I lowered my head, "I hope I will be." His arm snaked around my waist and I didn't stop him. I sighed in a staggered breath, "Please, don't worry about me. I just need to think about some things." He brushed my hair to one side, as he caressed the skin at my shoulder with his lips. I closed my eyes and sighed deeply. His lips moved against my neck, my head titled back until it leaned against his shoulder. His lips were at the base of my ear as he whispered my name, "Bella, please." I brushed my cheek against his face, while trying to control my breathing. He held me closer to him as he kissed along my shoulder. My arm rose until my hand tangled itself in his hair. He spun me around, so that I was facing him. He undid the tie at my waist, opening my blouse. His hand curved around my waist underneath the blouse pulling me closer to him. My legs were parted, on either side of his body. The venom pumped through my body like it was blood. His lips were gentle as they made their way to mine. My left leg moved up and down against his hip, until it curved around him.

He took my ponytail out, letting my hair fall down my back. My arms were behind me, holding me up, but he lifted me off the desk, spinning me around until my back was against the wall, as he kissed me. My eyes widened as he kissed down my chest. My fingers tangled his hair in my grip and my breath was ragged. He took my face in his hands and looked into my eyes. I read his as well, and I saw what I wanted for so long; his love. He kissed me gently. I unhooked my leg from his hip and he let me slide down the wall, until I was on my own feet, but he never released me. This was the moment I hoped for, prayed for, begged for. Edward wanting me, needing me as much as I need him. My hands were ready to undo his shirt when I picked up the sound of someone approaching my house. I let him devour me a little while longer, until I worked up my resolve, "Someone's coming." He shrugged, "So?" I smiled under his kiss, "I'm a teacher and you're a student." He pulled back, "Damn." I bit my lip, "Meet me at my house." He smiled and circled his arms around me again, lifting me from the floor and kissing me. When he released me, he sprinted out of my window.

I exhaled deeply. My body felt so alive, that I was trembling. I didn't know what this feeling was, but I didn't want it to go away. I tied back my blouse and grabbed my box of belongings. I opened my door to the principal, "Have a nice summer, Mr. Walt," I breathed as I half ran to the parking lot. I strapped my box to the back of my bike and flew out of the parking lot. When I arrived home, Renesmee's bike was not there and neither was his car, which hardly meant anything. I ran inside and threw the box into the closet under the stairs. I sprinted up the stairs, I didn't detect any scent. A fissure broke through me; he wasn't coming. I sat on the edge of my bed. I took off my boots and let my hair out, letting it fall all around my face. This was the pain I wanted to avoid and it was creeping up. I heard someone in Renesmee's room and I looked up. I went to my door, opening it and he was there. His eyes had a blaze about them. Before I could smile, he circled his arms around me, crushing my lips with his. We staggered backwards, as he ripped off my blouse and I, his shirt. He lifted my camisole over my head. He pushed me on the bed, taking off my skirt. I gripped at his pants, ripping them off. We stared at each other as I inched back to the head of the bed.

He placed one knee on the bed, grabbing at my ankle, pulling me back to him. My legs were wrapped around him as he kissed along my neck. This was amazing and worth the wait. He loved me and he was making me his. The hole in my chest was filled and healed. The fissure disappeared and I was whole. I was Bella again. I had Edward and I would never leave him, as he would never leave me.


	20. Better

Chapter 20 – Better

After Alice's vision of my mother's request, I went to La Push to see Jacob. When I met up with him, he was cliff diving with his pack. Leah looked at me, "Renesmee." I smiled, "Hi, Leah." She leapt into the air and off the cliff. Next, Errol leapt off the cliff, cart wheeling. Jacob chuckled as he came over to me, standing behind me and circling his arms around me. His bare chest pressed into my back and he kissed my hair. "Do you want to jump?" I shook my head, "I don't have my swimsuit." He chuckled against my hair, "That's fine with me." My mouth fell open and I elbowed him the ribs, "Jake." He laughed and spun me around. He was still shaking with laughter as he kissed me. I bite his lip, "You're bad." He rolled his eyes, "That's why you love me." I snorted, "Nope, I love you because you're a two for one deal. I get a boyfriend and a pet wolf." He snorted too, then he tightened his hold on me and walk backwards until we were leaning on a tree. He held my chin and kissed me again. I giggled, "They're probably waiting for you at the bottom." He looked past me to the cliff, "No, they're not. They know I'd stay here with you."

I shook my head. I hated making Jake choose between his pack and me. If it came down to it, he'd always choose me. This was a major concern of mine. I didn't want to leave my mom alone and I knew Jacob would come with me no matter where I went. She and I only had but so much time in Forks; soon we'd have to move on. I don't want to be away from Jacob, but I cannot leave my mother to travel the world alone. Jacob was stroking my hair, with my head tucked under his chin. "Nessie, what's wrong?" I grimaced; he was so attuned to me. "Nothing. Just thinking." "About Bella?" I sighed, "Yea. I've never seen her so broken up like that last night. I was terrified when we couldn't find her. You found her so fast, where'd you know to go?" He sighed, "That's the same place Sam found her when Edward left her. The way she was laying on the ground, it was just like that night." I looked up at him, "Really?" My eyes widened with sorrow. "I can't Jake. I can't leave her alone. I'm all she has." His large hands brushed either sides of my face and he kissed me, "I would never ask you to do that. I will go with you." I groaned, "Jake, I can't ask you to leave your pack. This is where you belong." He shook his head, "First thing, you're not asking me, I'm deciding. And second, I belong with you. If you feel you belong with Bella, then that's where I belong."

I hated myself. I must choose between the two people I love the most; my mother or the man I love. Jacob took me for a ride on my bike and we had dinner near Port Angeles. We hunted after seeing a movie. He drove me home and I saw a faint light in the house. I hated leaving my mother alone. "Renesmee?" I turned and I saw my neighbor, Mrs. Crowley coming towards me. "Hello, Mrs. Crowley," I smiled. "Hello dear. I just came over because I was concerned. I turned an awful ruckus from inside your house." My eyes widened, "Really?" I looked back at the house and it looked peaceful. I tried to listen for any movement and there was nothing. "Thank you, Mrs. Crowley." I patted Jacob's shoulder; he was just as tense, "Let's go check it out." We sprinted into the house, "Momma?!" I called; the house was dark.

I stepped in, immediately feeling glass under my feet. Jacob turned on the light and I saw shards of the vase from the hall all over the floor. The furnishings in the hall were almost completely destroyed. I exhaled, "Mom?!?!" I looked in the living room and the love seat was broken in half and the curtains were in shreds hanging on their rods. What had happened here? Jacob was sniffing the air, "Vampire, definitely." I shuddered and flew up the stairs, Jacob close behind. We ran to my mother's room. I checked the door and it was locked, "Momma!!!!" I pounded on the door. I heard someone inside moving. The door creaked open, "Yes honey." I sighed, my mother was fine. Her hair was disheveled and she was wearing a satin robe, "Momma, what happened to the house?" She shrugged. "Momma, the neighbors said they heard fighting in the house. Are you sure you're alright?" She smiled, biting her lip and the door opened further. Edward stood there, next to her, wearing only shredded pants, "Yea, everything's fine here," she answered and smiled up at him. Jacob and my mouths fell open and our eyes widened. I stuttered, "Oh, um, nice. Umm, damn," I laughed. She smiled brighter, "Good night you guys." Edward hugged her closer, "Good night" and he closed the door.

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Edward tightened his hold on me as we laughed. He took off my robe and we laid on my bed, getting under the covers, "You have to tell me what they were thinking?" He pulled me onto his chest, "Renesmee's mind was a little too incoherent. She's never seen you like this before. And Jacob was thinking "finally." He thinks now you'll lighten up." I huffed, "I'm gonna hurt him." He chuckled, tightening his hold even more, "Don't worry about them. They're glad to see you so happy." I sighed, "Maybe I should go clean up downstairs." I sat up, only to be pulled back down, "Not now." He held me from behind, twining our legs together and kissed my cheek, "We can do that later. Besides, they left." I smiled, "So we have the house to ourselves." He nodded, "Yes." I turned over and kissed him, sharing our physical love.

We rolled over, breathing hard. I saw the sunlight peeking through the window and dancing on the floor. Edward and I were wrapped in each other's arms, playing with each other's fingers. He held my hand still and kissed it. I smiled, I was in complete bliss. He caressed my cheek with the back of his hand, "What are you thinking?" I smiled, "Last night, and this morning. And when we were downstairs." He chuckled, "Yea. Sorry about the love seat. I promise I'll replace it and the vase and all the other things we broke." I giggled, "That's not necessary." He held my face, "Yes. I demolished your house." "We demolished my house." He leaned his forehead to mine and pressed his lips to mine. "Bella, I want to ask you something?" I sighed, "You're going to be get bored with me," I said playfully. He smiled, "Not likely, but that's not it. I wanted to know, me being your second…." I stopped him, "Whoa, you're my first." He looked at me. "Edward, he doesn't count. All this time, I've still thought of myself as a virgin. Emotionally, I've never been with a man, until now."

He smiled at me, "Renesmee was right though. I should have been there." I sighed, "Edward, I've put it behind me. Especially since I watched his body burn, I got over it." I looked down, "What is it?" he was concerned. I bit my lip, "Well, there's another reason why I was able to put it behind me, but I'm afraid to say." He stroked my cheek with his fingers, "You can tell me anything." I sighed, "I was really able to get over it because of you. Having you close by, I was able to heal. And now, I feel better than I have in a long time. Edward," I sighed, "Having you close is making me stronger." He held my face, "Bella," he looked into my eyes, "I am sorry. I never should have left you. You were right about me taking the decision out of your hands. I shouldn't have done that. I was so wrong." I exhaled, "Edward, please, let's not."

He brushed the back of his hand against my cheek, "Then when?" I smiled, "Just, not now." He smiled, "Soon. I want you to know the truth." He held me closer to him, "I want to be with you. But before that, I need you to know everything." I sighed, "Alright, then tell me. And once it's said, we do not speak of it again." He nodded, "Alright."


	21. Remorse

Chapter 21 – Remorse

Edward and I spent the entire summer in complete bliss. He took me to plays, movies, shopping and drives along the coast. Renesmee and I had taken to spending our weekends at the Cullen's house. Jacob was more than welcomed in the house, though he was hesitant about it at first. Jacob was so used to being around me and Renesmee, being near a larger coven made him uncomfortable. "Momma, do I have to go back? I already have seven high school diplomas." I smiled; we were at home and the new school year began in two weeks, "It's completely up to you. It's just that I may be charged with educational neglect." She scowled, "Fine, one more year, then I stay out of high school for 50 years." I shrugged, "Again, it's completely up to you. Honey, you're not a child, you don't have to ask me permission. If you'd like, next time, we go back to college and you can taunt all the boys." She smiled, "No, I'll leave that to you. Besides, I think I want to go this year. I want to see the look on Edward's face when the boys think about you." I groaned, "This is going to be a long year. But, at least, he's living out every boy's fantasy."

We walked out the backdoor into our back yard. Renesmee sat on her swing, "Which is?" I began pushing her, "Making out with his hot teacher." "Well, at least I'm the only one who will be." Renesmee and I looked behind us and he was walking out of the trees. Renesmee smiled, "Yea, but some may try," she taunted. I sighed, "Ness, don't you have school supplies to buy?" She looked up at me, "Typical," she got off her swing and walked toward the house, "Mother gets a new boyfriend and the child is pushed aside." I growled as she ran into the house, "Bye. Be good," she called. Edward chuckled while I shook my head, "She is so sarcastic." We wrapped his arms around me, "She gets it from you." He chuckled as I folded my arms, "But she had a point. This won't be an easy year. I don't think I can deal with all this inappropriate thoughts." I shrugged, "Well, you can take an accelerated schedule and graduate in one semester. That's what Alice is going to do." "Fine."

As the school year began; it typically the same. The freshman boys gawking at me and the senior boys thinking this was their year to getting my phone number. In my advance Calculus class, the Cullen's and Renesmee were in it, no surprise there. I'd also taken to teaching advance chemistry and they were there too. Edward thought I looked adorable in my lab coat. The first semester flew by. On Halloween, Renesmee and I coordinated our costumes again. This year she was a candy stripper and I was a nurse. Her costume consisted of a traditional candy stripper's uniform, but she shortened the skirt, made the dress tighter and lowered the neckline. My costume a white dress, with a short hemline, white sheer mid thigh dress socks, a nurse's had and clipboard. The both of us wore red pumps. As she and I walked through the parking lot, we wore long black coats. Edward eyed us, but composed himself. He couldn't walk with me like we did when we were students here. As I walked into class in my costume, I saw his eyes pop open. Conducting my lesson, I walked through the aisles and whispered to him, "I wore this for you. Suffer," I winked at him.

For thanksgiving, Renesmee and I made a huge dinner for Jacob and his pack. For Christmas, the Cullen's invited us to go skiing in Colorado. Jacob was invited as well. Renesmee pleaded with him and he agreed to come. When we flew to Colorado, the family bought out the first class cabin on the plane. Jacob and Renesmee whispered the whole flight; Jake had flown in first class. When we arrived in Colorado, several cars were rented to drive out to the cabin. It was breath-taking. The cabin was amazing; it was secluded in the mountains and trees, like in Forks. The snow was about three and a half feet deep. Esme showed everyone their rooms; mine and Edward's were across the hall from Renesmee and Jacob's. That night, Edward and I went walking in the woods, "I think Renesmee is having a great time. Thank you so much for doing this for us." I really appreciated everything the Cullen's had done for me and Renesmee. I hadn't noticed that Edward stopped walking. He grabbed my wrist and pulled me back to where he stood. I looked up at him; he was pinching the bridge of his nose with his forefinger and thumb.

We stood silent for a long time, while he was breathing deeply. He finally looked at me, "Bella, how many times do I have to tell you this? You think we're doing this to make up for leaving you. We're not. Believe it or not, we love both you and Renesmee. We're doing this because we think of you two as family." I looked away, "Edward, this is one of those rare moments where I wish you could read my mind. Is that what you believe? You think that I believe you and your family is doing this out of guilt. No, I was just genuinely thanking you. In the years Ness and I were together, I've never seen her so completely happy. First she finds Jacob, and he cares for her in ways I can't. Then all of you return, and she finds best friends in Alice and Rosalie. Because of all of you, you're giving her the things I dreamed she could have. So don't think for one moment that I believe you're doing this out of guilt. Edward thanks for thinking so much of me." I walked off toward the house.

He grabbed my wrist, "Bella, I'm…" I jerked my hand out of his grip. He sighed, "You're right. I am sorry." I sighed, "Fine. I need to go hunt." I ran past the house, where Renesmee and Jacob were sitting on the front porch. She looked up at me as I ran past them. "Momma?" I kept running up the mountain. I knew she would have questions for when I came back.

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I could read her like a book; she was mad. "Do you want to go to bed?" Jacob asked, fighting a yawn. I was beyond sleepy now. I saw Edward heading towards the house and was looking to the ground. "Jake, I'll be there in a few minutes." He kissed me as I waited for Edward. As he got closer, I stood and folded my arms, "Edward?" He looked up, "Yes Renesmee?" "I need to talk to you." He sighed, "Yes, what is it?" I glared at him, "I just saw my mom. She was really upset? What happened?" He sighed, "We were talking and I said something that offended her." I bit my lip, "Ok. What did you say?" He turned away from me, "I'd rather not say. I've already offended your mother; I don't want to do it to you." I nodded, "Fine. I'll respect your privacy. But Edward, in many ways, it's not only my mother who is learning to trust you." He looked back at me, "I know." "Edward, I love my mom and she is loves you. But I am trusting you with her. I will not tolerate anyone hurting my mother. I hope you can understand that." Edward stepped closer to me, "Renesmee, I am trying very hard to make your mother happy. I understand you feel protective over your mother, especially when it comes to me. Honestly, I knew that when she and I started our relationship, if she was hurt, I knew I would have to answer to you. Renesmee, trust me, I will make things right with your mother. I swear to you I will never hurt your mother again."

I looked at him, then in the direction she ran in, "Ok, I believe you. She went into the mountains, so, umm; just give her an hour or two." He must have seen in my mind where she went, "Thank you. I'll wait for her." _Maybe I should wait for her myself_. "No, that is alright. I will wait for her. She is upset with me." I nodded and went into the house. I hated seeing my mom hurting. If Edward hurt her in anyway….. I trailed off from that thought. I couldn't think like that. They just had an argument. Jacob and I have them. I just don't want to see my mom fall back into her depression. I hated see my mom like that and I would do anything to keep her away from that depression.

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Renesmee reminded me of me. When it came to Bella, she would do anything to protect her. I saw in her mind that she wanted to rip me apart just because she knew we had an argument. I smiled at the thought. The hybrid wanted to rip me apart. I had the feeling Jacob would have helped her. Thinking about our discussion, I made a confession to her. I literally didn't want to face her if I ever hurt Bella again. Looking at Renesmee glare at me reminded me of Bella when she was mad. They looked exactly alike when they were mad, only Renesmee had the eyes that completed the stare. How could I think of Bella like that? Why would I assume she felt our family was doing what we did because of guilt? Bella knew better than that. She was appreciative of what we did for her and her daughter. Bella, please come back. I want to apologize and hold her in my arms. I hated having Bella away from me and being mad at me. As I waited for her return, I kept thinking to myself what I could do, what I could say to make her feel better? "Edward?" I turned and saw Alice standing in the doorway. "Yes?"

"She's going to be back in an hour. Come inside." I shook my head, "No. I told Renesmee I would wait for Bella out here." Alice came to sit next to me, "It's funny. Renesmee is just like Bella, with some of your traits. When it comes to her mother, Ness is nurturing and caring, like Bella. But she is also protective, like you." I half-smiled, "Yea, I see that too. It's still amazing. When I first saw Renesmee, I honestly thought she was a relative of Bella, except her heart beat, it was too fast. I thought she was running, but she called her 'Momma.' I can't believe that we could have children with human women." Alice sighed and rubbed my arm, "Edward, don't beat yourself up. You two still have some things to work out. Trust me, I've seen it. She'll be part of our family, mostly due to the fact that you never letting her go again." I kissed her forehead, "I won't Alice. I know it was painful for you too when we left." She leaned her head on my shoulder, "It was, but now we have her back and we got Renesmee. Edward, I love Bella like my sister and Renesmee…," she smiled, "like my niece." I looked down at her and she smiled brightly, "Yes, that's what I saw. Good night." She kissed my hair and went into the house. I watched after her and I saw the vision play back in her mind. The thought made me smile. That is what I will do. I am never letting her go again.


	22. Coincidence

Chapter 22 – Coincidence

I sat in the house, my kill at my feet. Aggravated bears were delicious. I watched as the snowflakes fell on my body and they stuck to my clothes and my hair. The little crystals were a helpful distraction from my anger. I know Edward and I aren't completely healed, but we are well on our way. We hardly discuss the Dark Times from both our lives, but we talked a lot about what we had done in the past century. In many ways, he and I still walked on eggshells when we were with each other, however, I may have overreacted tonight. I sighed; maybe I should mark this as a misunderstanding. I nodded to myself, we were working on our relationship and I didn't want us fighting. I ran back to the house, where Edward was on the porch. When he saw me, he stood hesitantly, "Bella?" I smiled and walked toward him, smiling. He held out his hand and I took it, "Bella, I…" I cut him off, "Edward?" I looked down at my watch and sighed, "Its Christmas Eve and the year's almost over. I don't want to spend the time fighting or being upset with each other."

I wrapped my arms around his waist, "Let's just enjoy the holiday." He placed his finger under my chin and tilted my head back to kiss my lips, "You're right." I spent the rest of the night in his arms, in front of the fire place. As the sun began to rise, Emmett suggested a snowball fight for the evening's activity. Alice, Rosalie, Esme, Renesmee and I spent the day in town, while the guys went hunting for the day. Jacob had truly become part of the family, he even wrestles with Emmett. When we came back, Emmett sprinted out the door, "Let's go." "Emmett, give us a minute," Alice asked. The five of us ran inside, "Wait, I have an idea," I announced. I explained my shield over all of us, while we slipped out the back window. We climbed up to the roof of the house, and saw the guys standing out front. Trying to stifle our giggles, the five of us pushed the snow from the roof onto the guys, burying them. We stood on the roof, laughing. Emmett roared as he burst out of the snow, "You girls are dead."

We flipped off the roof and land in the back yard. We were surrounded by them, all of them with evil smirks on their faces. My shield was still up, so Edward wouldn't hear our plan. They raised their arms and threw their snowballs. All of us ducked in time, causing the men to be hit themselves. That started our whole night of fun. We ran through the woods, being chased by our boyfriends and husbands, "Why did I have to be with the one who's the fastest?" Renesmee was close by me, "I prefer the fastest than the one who's a hothead." We heard Edward and Jacob laughing, so we ran into the treetops.

The entire family played all night long. When the moon was high above, I stopped and saw the time, "Renesmee, it's almost time." "Coming," she called. Edward caught up to me and swept me up in his arms, "Time for what?" I crumpled up a snowball in his hair and kissed him, "Our family tradition. Renesmee and I open on gift at midnight." He kissed along my neck, "Do you think I can give you a gift now too?" I laughed, "Umm, no. I want to wait." He groaned, "Fine," he said as he kissed along my jaw, pulling my lips to his. I laughed, "She's coming. Let me just go do this and I'll be back." He sighed, letting me back on my feet, "I'll be waiting." I ran into the house and selected my gift for Renesmee and she was waiting with hers.

We sat on the couch, smiling. "Ok, one, two, three," we handed each other our gifts, "Merry Christmas," we said together. I let her open hers first. She took off the wrapping off the small box. Opening it, she saw her gift and gasped. Inside the box were two heavy silver hair combs, with dark blue sapphires that were clustered into intricate floral shapes atop the teeth. "Momma," she gushed. "They belonged to my grandmother Swan. Charlie left them to me and I want you to have them." Tears welled in her eyes, "Thank you, and now open yours. Alice and Esme helped me with it." I took the wrapping off the large box in my lap. Opening the over, I saw it was a large quilt. I took it out of the box, standing to have a better look at it, "Wow, it has all our pictures on it." The quilt was made of patches of clothes and fabric pictures of me and Renesmee. It had pieces of our animal skin clothes from when we lived in the jungle, pictures of her with my parents, pictures of us in the jungle, from when we lived around the world. My eyes pricked as I spread the quilt over the two of us. Renesmee rested her head in my lap looking at her combs, "These are really beautiful, but I want a promise from you?" I looked down, "Yes?" She smiled, "The two of us were one when we have to attend a special occasion." I smiled, "That sound great. I promise." I leaned down and kissed her forehead.

Suddenly, something hit the window behind us, making Renesmee jump. I moved the curtain to see Emmett, "Would you two hurry up?" We glowered back, "He's so dead," we said together. After we put our gifts in our room, we flew out of our windows and landed on Emmett. The family played all night long, but Renesmee and Jacob bowed out, going to bed. After the fight, there was hardly any snow settled on the ground. Everyone went inside to change out of their wet clothes. I woke up Renesmee and Jacob telling them that we were ready to open gifts. "How can she sleep with him snoring like that?" Edward asked as we went downstairs. I shrugged, "I learned to tune him out." Edward stopped on his step and I looked back. "He was at my house and we were watching movies. We dozed off, that's it." He closed his eyes and breathed deeply, "It's in the past." I smiled, "Exactly." The family was in complete buzz opening each other's presents. "I have a gift for you, but I'd like to give it to you in private," Edward whispered to me. I smiled, "Ok." He took my hand and guided me to the back porch.

He sat me on the swing, "Bella, I've wanted to give this to you since I realized I loved you. However, the original one I gave it to Jacob." My eyebrows furrowed, "What are you talking about?" He smiled, "Close your eyes." I closed my eyes and I hurried the snow crunch under his weight. Edward took my hands, "Isabella," I opened my eyes and saw he was on one knee in front of me, "120 years ago I met the most beautiful angel who lit up my life. And, like a fool, I let her go. By a miracle, I have found her again, and by another miracle, she still loves me. I swear to you that I will never let you out of my life again." He took a small box out of his pocket, "Bella, I love you and my love for you will only grow. And I know I am not worthy of you, but no one will ever love you as much as I love you, will you marry me?" He opened the box showing a large sapphire ring, set in a white gold band, accented with two diamonds on either side of the large blue stone. My mouth fell open, "I don't know what to say." "SAY YES!!!" everyone shouted from the back door. I looked back and laughed, "Yes!!" Edward slipped on my ring and hugged me up in his arms, kissing me.

Everyone cheered and ran out to us. As I hugged everyone, I noticed Renesmee wasn't there. I went inside looking for her. I found her in the living room, sitting with Jacob. "Renesmee, I was too happy to find my soul mate in you." He was holding her hands, "I love you." I noticed the ring on her third finger, "Will you marry me?" She was crying, "Yes, Jake." They were hugging when she looked up at me, "Momma, look." She showed me her engagement ring. It was a golden ring, with a long oval face, which was set with slanting rows of glittering round stones. The band was delicate and narrow. The gold made a web around the diamonds set into the ring. Alice came in behind me, "Bella, why'd you…" She trailed off when she saw me looking at Renesmee's hand, "You too, Ness. This is amazing." Renesmee looked at Alice, "What do you mean 'you too?'" Alice giggled as I raised my hand, "Edward proposed." Renesmee jumped up and hugged me, "This is amazing. Now I just have to talk to Edward." I huffed, "Fine, then I have to talk to Jacob." She walked back, "Maybe later." I smiled, "Yea, me too." Edward came into the living room, "Did you tell her?" Renesmee and I laughed, "Umm, yea, but she had to tell me something." I held up her hand, "She's marrying Jacob."

Edward smiled at Jacob, "You gave it to her already?" Renesmee and I looked back between the two of them, "You knew?" I asked. Edward hugged Jacob, "Yes. I've known for some time. He wanted to get her a beautiful ring, so I offered him that one." Renesmee looked at her hand. "I wanted to give it to Bella, but I thought Jake could use it more." Renesmee bit her lip, "Thank you, Edward," and she hugged him as I hugged Jacob. Renesmee took my hand and appraised my ring, "Yours is beautiful." I smiled, "Yea, I can't wait to show mine off at school." We giggled, as Edward and Jacob came behind us. Each of us turned and kissed our fiancées.

At the new school year, I announced that I would be leaving after this semester, telling them I was moving back East. The principal was very upset. I told him my fiancée and I were moving because he was offered a job at a law firm in New York. In my classes, some students were devastated that I was leaving, but Edward told me the boys were more upset to find out I was getting married. Alice, Rosalie and Esme helped us plan the weddings. "Momma, I have an idea about the weddings?" We were home alone, on those rare occasions. "Yea?" "I was thinking that since we got proposed to one the same day, we should get married on the same day?" I smiled, "Really?" She beamed, "Yes, Jake and Edward will go for anything we want. And inside of them paying for your wedding one day and you paying for my wedding one another, let's join them. I mean we'll mostly have the same guests. What do you think?" I bit my lip, "Perfect. We're having a double wedding." She hugged me, "Fabulous, I'm going to tell Jake." She dashed up the stairs, "Wait, where will we have it?" "I'll ask Esme if we can have it at the house."

Alice, Jacob and Edward dashed into the room, "That's a wonderful idea. OF course you can have it at our house, Bella. Esme wouldn't have it any other way," Alice gushed. "Ok, but there goes my maid of honor. Oh well, I'll use my back up plan, Alice, will you do it?" She gawked at me. Suddenly, she flew across the room, hugging me, knocking us off the couch, "Really?" Renesmee came back down the stairs, "No fair, I was going to ask Alice." Edward and Jacob was laughing, "What about Rosalie?" I sat up, "Ok, umm, how about Alice and Rosalie are the maids of honor for the wedding?" Renesmee was hugging Jacob, "That works for me." Alice clapped, "Ok, I'm going to inform Rosalie and Esme and we'll work out the details this weekend." She dashed out the window, leaving me on the ground where she pinned me. Edward lifted me up and sat me on his lap, while Renesmee and Jacob went to bed.

Edward and I spent the entire night talking about the wedding and he planned our honeymoon, he wanted to take me back to the jungle, where Renesmee and I first lived. Renesmee and Jacob were offered Esme's island off the coast of Brazil. Everything was perfect. My daughter and I had a very long life together, were it was just the two of us. Coming back home; she found her love and I opened my heart to mine. Edward and I didn't speak, he just pressed his lips to mine. In a few months time, I was going to be Mr. Edward Cullen and my daughter would be Mrs. Renesmee Black. Edward held my body to his, never releasing my lips. We didn't always express our physical love; mainly because we didn't want to damage the new furniture he bought me and we wanted to save most of it until after we were married. For the rest of the night, we looked into each other's eyes, looking into each other's souls and loving each other for the rest of eternity.


	23. Epilogue

Epilogue – Renesmee

Our wedding day was glorious. Huilen and Nahuel came to the wedding and Alice had clothes ready for them. A man named Roberto came with them. Roberto was a human Huilen hunted and she left him alive, because she couldn't find it in herself to kill him. They have been together for the past 50 years. The Cullen's cousins form Alaska came to the wedding. The one called Tanya obviously like Edward, but my mom got him, she's had to get over it. Nahuel was happy I was getting married, but I think he was a little jealous. My mom wore different dresses; hers was more traditional, but mine was more modern. She wore a long white dress, with a form-fitting bodice, with decorative bead that spanned down to her skirt and along her train. My dress was a form fitting dress with a long slit in the back. The two parts of the dress in the back, that was split by the slit spanned out to a train. She and I wore matching tiaras and I let her burrow one of my sapphire combs she gave me for Christmas; so she had something burrowed, blue and old and her dress was new. My comb was something old and blue, new dress was new and Rosalie let me burrow her diamond earrings.

Jacob and Edward waited at the altar to marry us. My mom and I walked down the aisle together; smiling brightly. During the reception, my mom gave Jake and I an amazing gift. "I know I shouldn't being doing this during our wedding, but I couldn't wait." She handed Jake a large envelope. He opened it, "She's giving us Charlie's house." I cried and hugged her. There was another big surprise at the wedding; Huilen and Nahuel had taken to drinking the blood of animals. They said it was more fun to hunt prey with more fight in them. Also, Leah caused the biggest surprise of all; she imprinted on Nahuel. Nahuel was immediately attracted to Leah and they danced together all night long. During the reception, I danced with Edward, while Momma danced with Jacob. After our dances, the four of us talked, "Renesmee, do not worry. I will take care of your mother and be the best step-father I can be." I smiled, "I know you will, but you won't be my step-father." I smiled, "You're the real thing." He smiled and hugged me. My mom hit Jacob, "You hurt her I kill you." They hugged each other laughing. I was so happy as my mom and I changed to depart for our honeymoon.

They were going back to the jungle and Jake and I were going to Isle Esme. I was nervous because I was truly going to be alone with Jake for the first time. But I was with my soul mate and I didn't have to worry about my mother.

One Year Later

Jake and I have been married for more than a year now and we lived in my mom's house, while she lived with in Alaska with Edward. Jake and I attended Washington State together and we were blissfully happy. I woke up one morning and I wasn't alone in my bed. I pulled the covers back to see my dark-haired angels sleeping next to me. The door opened, "Good morning, Ness." I shushed him, "You'll wake them." He laughed a knelt down on the other side of the bed. We looked at the faces of our twins, Sara Isabella & Ephraim Jacob Black. "We got a letter from Leah. She and Nahuel are doing great in the jungle and they had a son named Seth last month." I smiled, "I hope they're just as happy as we are." Sara began to stir, then so did her brother. We carried them downstairs and made them breakfast. The both of them had dark hair like Jacob, but Ephraim had my eyes, while Sara had Jacob's. Both of them had peach russet skin, and Sara had my curly hair.

Knock, knock, knock. I opened the door to my parents, "Oh my gosh, when did you get here?" I asked hugging them both. My mom laughed, "We just got here, on our way to the house." There was a clatter in the kitchen, "E.J. why'd you do that?" I rolled my eyes, "Ohh, that boy." My mom laughed, "I'll get him." Edward was chuckling, "How are the twins? Bella brought them a ton of gifts. She's excited about being a grandmother." We walked into the kitchen, seeing my mom hugging the twins. All of us were so happy. For more than a century, it was just my mom and I, now it was six of us. She and Edward were grandparents, while Jacob and I were parents. My life was complete bliss and happiness. My mom and I were the happiest women on the planet; we had soul mates, children and each other.


End file.
